The Ecstasy Of Faking It

Chapter 37: The what ifs.

Adrian's POV.

While I wasn't even sure if I wanted to major in theatre, Emily was more than sure about being in love with me. I swore I'd never wonder but I had started to wonder.

What is love?

I grew up in a home where people showed only one emotion. Anger.

My mom was angry because she had never made a right decision after that fire, that included moving on with a guy called Randall. I was angry because of a lot of things, hell, even Randall was angry for some stupid unknown reason.

But then again I'd be lying if I said we were a happy family right before the fire. My parents argued all the time, those kind of arguments that made me want to shout "just get a divorce already!" But I didn't, I thought things were much more simpler with all of us together in one home.

I did hear them say they loved each other, they did kiss hello and goodbye but they didn't quite show that much affection. My Dad used to say that there was a time when he was madly in love with my mom, he said he guessed he must have fallen out of love along the way and that's when I knew I didn't want it.

I didn't want to fall in love just to fall out of it.

Especially not with Emily, if I was going to fall in love with her, I wanted to fall in love with her for the rest of my life. Her and only her.

And since the people who raised me never showed me what love is all about and I never bothered asking, how was I supposed to know if I was in love with her or not?

My phone vibrated on my nightstand, dragging me out of my daydream, I picked it up and found a text fromJared.

"Marianne's back, she's throwing a party tonight. You down?"

I rolled my eyes. Jared and I hadn't spoken since I quit my job at the convenience store, maybe it was because he liked Marianne and he always wanted me to ask her out.

"No. Emily and I got this thing tonight"

"You can bring her, dude, I haven't seen you guys in a while"

I decided not to reply, he was never going to leave me alone.

Speaking of Emily, I couldn't go two minutes without thinking about her, I guessed that's what happens when you spend too much time with someone. You forget what your life was like before they walked into it.

I grabbed my car keys and slipped on my shoes.

The hallway was quiet.

Sundays were quiet.

I walked down the stairs and spotted my Mom in the kitchen, I pretended not to have seen her and headed to the front door.

"Hey hey hey, where are you going?" She called, I halted.

"Out." I responded.

"Adrian, get in here!" She demanded. I cursed underneath my tone as I turned around and went to stand in the doorway to the kitchen.

She was sitting on the kitchen counter, writing something.

"Did you decide?" She asked.

By decide, she meant decide on whether or not I was going to California before the end of summer or afterwards, I already told her afterwards but she kept on insisting because it's a big city and my scholarship only covered my tuition fee so I had to look for a place to live and all that other stuff.

"I already told you, after summer." I said.

She sighed, "Adrian, you need to settle before school starts in August and if you decide to go there in August then-"