The Ecstasy Of Faking It

Chapter 39: Mystery of love.

Emily's POV.

"Jess?"

"Yes?"

"Do you believe in God?" I asked, staring at the clear blue sky.

Jess and I had a free period so we decided to get high and listen to music while at it, we ended up laying flat on the football field and staring at the sky in silence cause that's what good weed does to people.

"Yes, sometimes I feel like I only believe in God because my parents preached to me about God all the time. Do you?" She asked.

"Yeah but there was a time when I didn't." I responded.

"Oh, Emily Bennett has a story to tell, Please do tell." She turned to look at me, I didn't meet her eyes, I continued looking at the sky. Preparing myself to tell the story that I never told.

"My mom died when I was ten, she was a great mom and she believed in God, I once asked her why God was letting her die, she said that everything happens for a reason, that everyone is a reason and that nothing in this world is a coincidence." I felt my eyes sting but I continued, "I still stopped believing in God after she died." I wiped a tear that rolled from my eye.

"What made you start?" She asked.

"My Dad and the world's biggest Mysteries like this morning when I woke up, he was the first thing I saw." I smiled, remembering the fascinating sight.

"Adrian?" She snorted a laugh.

"Fucking Adrian." I chuckled, she laughed. "I just stared at him sleep, Jess, he was so.. beautiful." I said.

"Ah man, you know shit's getting real when a girl calls a guy beautiful." She said more to herself.

"I just feel so many emotions towards that guy, and I didn't even know loving someone this much was possible, I'm fucking losing my grip every day, I'm falling in love with him every day especially when we have super hot dirty talking mad sex and I don't know how to make it stop." I whined frustratedly.

"Mystery of love." I heard her whisper.

"And so I thought to myself, if God doesn't exist then who's responsible for all this shit." I pointed out.

"Someone has to be responsible." She said like it was a fact.

"Someone has to be fucking responsible." I repeated.

We both laughed and went silent.

"But loving him hurts sometimes." I admitted.

"You know, there's a certain group of people that you can never advise in life, a girl in love is one of them but please, Em, if it hurts too much and you feel like your mental health can't take it, just walk away." She advised, I nodded in understanding and we went silent again.

I liked the fact that Jess was a good listener and that the silence didn't make it awkward, I was comfortable and so was she. That was all I ever wanted in a girl friend so I guessed it was right to say suck on that Haley and Carley.

"But you do realize that you've never talked about you and Adrian having super hot dirty talking mad sex, right?" She broke the silence after some time, I smiled at her question.

I was never the type of girl that talked about her sex life, well, until I got high.

"He's just so good at it, Jess, he's so fucking good." I ratted myself out.

"How good though?" She questioned, I bit on my lower lip.

"Like me coming three times good." I ran a hand down my face.