A Beast's Heart (english version)

5.

In fact, it started to rain towards the evening. Some of the soldiers made fun of it and sang their song again. The Rains of Castamere.
Once in Wendish Town, outside a tavern, I had witnessed a totally drunk man telling the story behind this song. It was about the Reyne Rebellion against House Lannister. Lord Tywin Lannister had unceremoniously wiped out and burned down the entire Reyne family. Their bones, the man went on to say, then hung on the walls of Casterly Rock for the rest of the summer as a warning to the rest of the retinue. As their lord, so did the soldiers, it occurred to me, and I contorted my face until it hurt.
It was said that Lord Tywin never smiled. How much cruelty could be behind one man, I wondered. To cut down an entire family in the most brutal way and expose them on the city walls I didn't really feel was honourable. It seemed to me that my father had lied to me once after all, when he promised me something one night.
"The lords of Westeros are honourable, Lena. Don't worry!"
"Will I marry one later?", I had asked with bright eyes, only to be disappointed.
"Sorry, my sweet little raven, but I guess not. The lords and ladies are noble and marry each other in their different families."
"But you and Mama are from different families too! What difference does that make?"
"Well, that... You'll understand when you're older. But I can promise you that I will only let you marry a man who would be worthy of the title of lord! A brave young man who will carry you on his hands wherever you want to go! Who will protect you from anything that might hurt you and care for you!"
I'll never marry, Father, I thought bitterly, watching the rain drip from the end of my nose. I'll go to a bloody ruin now and probably catch my death there.... If one of these monsters around me doesn't do it first.
I didn't notice Gendry and Arry who had come up beside me.
"Lenn, we wanted you to meet someone else. This here is hot pie. Hot pie, this is Lenn."
A fat boy stepped out of my way. He was taller than Arry, but shorter than Gendry. He fit perfectly in the middle. A grin stole across his rounded cheeks. He seemed to have a fun-loving personality.
"Nice to meet you, Lenn," he greeted me in a soft voice and I nodded at him.
"Likewise."
"He doesn't talk much," I heard Gendry murmur and hot pie - I didn't know you could be called that - nodded in understanding.
"It doesn't matter," he said then, "as long as he doesn't kill us. Then all is well."
I just shook my head and looked straight ahead again. I had spoken enough, in my opinion, and the three of them seemed to notice that. Maybe it was also because of my looks, I didn't know. The fact that I wasn't in the best of moods should probably be obvious to anyone who saw me.
Arry was already getting on my nerves with his - or her - constant staring and the precocious comments didn't make me like this child any more. Neither did the whispering to Gendry.
"He's odd. Barely talks, just stares ahead.... We should be careful!"
I had acquired a strong thread of patience over the years that actually very rarely broke. But this person actually managed to make me turn my gaze icily towards him and suddenly speak.
"If you think you have to gossip about me behind my back, then please do it so quietly that I can't hear! Otherwise it defeats the purpose, don't you think?"
Gendry started laughing and Arry looked away in a huff. Hot Pie grinned too, until a soldier spoke up.
"What's there to laugh about?! Shut up now and move on!"
I suddenly lifted my face to the sky and let the rain run down my cheeks. The steady patter of the drops on my skin quietened me down and I already needed that after this little outburst - if it could be seen as such.
How I missed being alone right now! Then I wouldn't have had to justify my silence and my facial expressions!
My legs were dead tired from all the walking and all this red armour around me was fuelling my hatred. I dreamed of a sword with which I could murder them all one by one. A sword for which I didn't have to master any martial arts. A sword that never missed its target at my command. But I would never possess such a thing, so I dismissed that thought after a while.
"Lenn? Are you thinking?"
Slowly, I looked up - straight into Hot Pies gentle dark eyes. I just nodded and looked straight ahead again.
"Are you going to tell me what you're thinking about?" he continued to ask and I sighed softly.
"Who wants to know?"
"Well...me. Otherwise I wouldn't ask!"
He grinned sheepishly and I cautiously leaned a little in his direction. Then I lowered my voice so as not to attract the soldiers' attention.
"I have imagined a sword that I don't have to learn to fight for. I give it commands and it guides itself. I could then use it to smash my enemies, just like that."
I snapped my fingers briefly and looked the boy straight in the eye. He backed away a little, seeming to consider what to say back.
"Do you have many enemies, Lenn?"
"I consider many to be my enemies," I explained and he nodded. I left it at that, glad that he was now telling me about himself.
"I was just thinking about a special pie, you must know! With fried onions and smoked bacon! I can really see it when I close my eyes! Steaming and so smelly! I dream of being able to bake them myself one day!"
I always preferred it when others spoke. Then it wasn't noticeable if my mind was already somewhere else.
I had always been able to annoy my brother very well with that, I remembered with a smile. He told me the blue of heaven, while I just nodded absently and had no idea what he was talking about.
"Lena, are you listening to me?"
"Of course, of course..."
"You're not! What did I just say?"
With that he had exposed me and I surrendered, grinning. It drove him up the wall and then he scolded me like a sparrow. I liked teasing him. Just as he enjoyed teasing me. The classic sibling relationship.
I bowed my head sadly.
"Lenn? Do you understand what I mean?"
Hot Pie looked at me searchingly and I nodded quickly.
"Yeah..yeah sure.. You'll get it right with your pies."
"I should hope so!" he finished and turned back to Gendry, beaming with joy. I shook my head with a sigh and was glad to hear Ser Alrik.
"We are so starting to look for a place to sleep! Keep your eyes open, you snores, or you may sleep in the rain!" ...