A Beast's Heart (english version)

47.

~~~

I woke up in the middle of the night and looked around sleepily. Something was different than usual. I had slept much more peacefully and for once even dreamlessly.
I felt warmth to my left and froze shortly afterwards when I saw the small bundle next to me in the dim light of the candle.
Close beside me, Lena had curled up and was sleeping. Only part of her short blonde hair was sticking out from under the blanket we seemed to be sharing, sticking out in all directions. What was she doing here? I remembered ordering her to keep me company until I fell asleep. Had she really stayed with me?
Careful not to wake her, I lay still. She stirred briefly anyway, only to press herself closer against my chest and continue sleeping with a reassured soft sigh. I watched the little body next to me for a while and grinned. She had always put out the last candle when I forgot. This time, however, the little light was still burning. With a careful movement, I slowly rose a little and carefully blew out the candle. Lena stirred again and I froze completely.
She turned to me, I could feel her breath warm on my arm. Carefully I lay back down and felt her face half against my chest.
"Lord Tywin," she whispered softly in her sleep and I could no longer suppress what I was feeling. She was dreaming of me! I realised that I felt much better in her presence. I could sleep more peacefully again, could curb the anger inside me.
Very carefully, almost tenderly, I put my arm around her while I heard the rain from outside. A low thunder rumbled above us, but I didn't care. If the gods didn't agree, they should see where they were! Why wasn't I allowed to take care of her? She could use some warmth just as much as I could!
But what about Joanna, the voice inside me asked, and I paused. But before I could answer, I saw her standing at the foot of the cot, surrounded by a glaring light.
"Joanna...", I whispered softly, startled, before pulling my arm back from Lena.
"Let it be, Tywin. Your brother is right," she spoke softly.
"But am I not unfaithful to you?", I asked almost tonelessly.
"No, Tywin. You only destroy yourself when you think like that. You've been faithful to me all these years, now be there for her. She needs you more than I do."
I lowered my eyes and she suddenly stood to my right and lifted my chin a little.
"Promise me you'll take care of her from now on, Tywin. Promise me."
I sighed softly and nodded.
"I promise."
Joanna smiled, then her appearance faded and it went dark again. I sat back and a moment later heard Lena whisper my name again.
"I'm here," I breathed hesitantly and put my arm around her again, "I'll take care of you."
She continued to press herself against me and, somewhat reassured by the conversation with Joanna, I fell asleep again....

~~~

I awoke as usual with the dawn and almost fell out of bed when I saw Lord Tywin lying beside me. Careful not to wake him, I lifted his arm slightly, which locked me in place, and slipped quietly out of bed. What had I been thinking? Nothing at all, or I wouldn't be here!
I looked for a piece of polished metal and tried to fix my hair a little in a panic while I took a deep breath. That damned wine! I knew no good would come of it and now this was the proof!
Calm down, Lena, don't get excited! Maybe he didn't even notice, I thought and forced myself to calm down before turning to the lord. He was still sound asleep, this time he really was lying there completely still. He didn't seem to be having a nightmare. For a moment I tilted my head and watched him. I had never seen him sleep so peacefully.
"Lord Tywin, wake up. Today the great battle is at hand."
Slowly his eyes opened, he blinked a few times and then briefly fixed his sleepy gaze on me. I wonder if he remembered. For a moment his gaze wandered beside him, then he barely noticeably shook his head and stood up.
"Help me into my armour. I'll eat something on the way."
I nodded and obeyed his command. All the while his gaze rested on me, it felt uncomfortable.
"Is something wrong, my lord?"
He tilted his head slightly and brushed a strand of hair from my forehead. Very gently and barely noticeably. A shiver ran down my spine as he leaned down a little towards me and his gaze found mine.
"Thank you, Lena," he whispered and I felt my heart stop.
"For what, Lord Tywin?", I asked just as quietly and confused. He eyed me, seeming to consider. Then he breathed two words.
"For everything."
I blinked, breathing shallowly. He was so close to me. I was completely overwhelmed, what was I to do now?
Before I could come up with an answer, the moment had passed and he was pulling on his iron gloves.
"Now then, the last few miles of road lie ahead." ...