A Beast's Heart (english version)

54.

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I stared angrily at my youngest before reaching for my goblet again and emptying it. How could he even think of laying claim to Casterly Rock? So that whores would be his advisors there! My father nearly bankrupted the Lannisters, Tyrion would probably continue to do so. Everything I had fought for over the years would fade away. No, I would not let that happen in my life!
I hoped it would be a lesson to him! And even more I hoped that he just took my last words to heart. I was tired of always having to keep an eye on his activities. I had enough to do as it was.
A soft sigh left my lips. Why couldn't this little creature be at least a little more like Jaime when Joanna was already dead to him? Tywin, stop it, I thought suddenly. You can't let him provoke you. Besides, there's someone else waiting for you....

~~~

I had retreated to the balcony and was staring down into the courtyard, trying to calm myself. He wasn't mad at me, he was mad at his son. He would surely be calm again in a moment - and I was to be proved right.
He sighed but spoke completely calmly again as he took his place beside me and looked down into the courtyard as well.
"What did you get?"
"Everything. From beginning to end. I have never seen you so angry."
He ran a hand over his face, suddenly looking tired and worn.
"I wasn't actually willing to show you either. Forgive me."
"There's nothing to forgive," I murmured softly.
"Casterly Rock he wants.... After all, he has not managed to represent me as Hand of the King for this short time now. Why then should I give him our home in his filthy little hands?"
"Don't speak so harshly of him," I pleaded softly - earning a scowl.
"What do you know?!" he suddenly blubbered, turned back on his heels and went inside. I went after him, put my hand on his shoulder and spun him around to face me before grabbing his hands and sitting down on the bed with him.
"I know I wouldn't be able to be with you now if it wasn't for him. I would probably still be squatting on Harrenhal, or perhaps would have long since fallen victim to one of the soldiers there."
He opened his mouth briefly, wanting to protest. But he faltered and finally closed it again. Try as he might, he could find no argument to protest.
"It is to this "illmade, spiteful little creature" that I owe the privilege of following you here, Tywin," I whispered now, carefully taking his face in my hands, "It is to him that I owe a home and the feeling of love. Not everything he did is bad in principle."
He looked at me silently before I kissed him tentatively. Very gently and softly. There was that sad haze in his eyes again.
"What have I done wrong to have my children constantly pestering me like this?"
"Don't be so hard on yourself, Tywin. Don't blame yourself for this. You're only human and your strengths just lie elsewhere."
He looked at me doubtfully and I stroked his beard with a slight smile. It was time to let my heart speak.
"I have never heard of a better strategist! Your move against Stannis was a complete success, you saved the city and thousands of souls. You taught me how to read, you continued to teach me various lessons - you were the only one who really managed to completely penetrate my innermost being. Through my armour, which I had created for myself all these years. You have withstood all the burden all these years. I admire you, Tywin. I am honoured to be in your presence. I love you."
We paused for a moment, then he took me gently by the shoulders and slowly let himself fall sideways onto the bed. I let him pull me along, never once losing sight of him. My heart seemed to race as he leaned over and pressed his lips to my forehead.
"And for that I am more than grateful to you, Lena. Always be sure of that!"
"Of course," I considered for a moment, "are you actually hungry?"
"I've just lost my appetite after the discussion. I want to rest."
I understood and was about to get up when he grabbed my hands.
"No, you are to stay here.... Unless you don't want to, then of course you may leave..."
It seemed foreign to him to respond to other people's wills. I smiled slightly and stroked the back of his hand with my thumb.
"I will stay if you wish."
He nodded and rose to remove his robe. I looked away awkwardly.
"You may look, Lena," he murmured softly and I heard him laugh. But I shook my head.
"I...that..."
In his underwear, he was now standing in front of me, suddenly grabbing my chin.
"Do I look that bad?"
My gaze inevitably slid over his body before I hastily shook my head and swallowed hard. He looked incredibly handsome!
With a smirk, he lay back down and I carefully slid the robe over my body. In the thin fabric of pants and shirt, I now sat there, feeling a heat in my cheeks as I noticed his gaze.
"What are you looking at me like that for?"
"You look ravishing," he murmured, holding out his hand to me. I took it hesitantly and let him pull me to him under the covers. It was thinner than the one on Harrenhal - but it was also much warmer here. I was still shaking like a leaf, Tywin carefully put his arm around me and gently stroked my shoulder.
"Take it easy, Lena. Nothing is going to happen to you. I'm with you."
Slowly I grew calmer, listening to his soft words. Exhausted, I surrendered to it and turned in his direction, nestling against his warm chest.
"Tywin, I love you," I murmured again and the pressure of his hand around my shoulder tightened a little.
"I love you too, Lena. Sleep well." ...