A Beast's Heart (english version)

52.

"Is what you just said true? Are you not lying to me either?"
"Never, Tywin," I replied softly, overwhelmed by his firm embrace. That constant trembling annoyed me. I liked being in his arms! When would my body finally understand too?
"Say it again," he whispered softly and I slowly slid my arms around him too. Close together we stood there, blue sky and sunshine above us. Only the seagulls broke the silence.
"I love you, Tywin," I repeated, looking up at him with all the love I could show. He looked at me for a long time, still seeming unable to believe it. I continued to snuggle up to him, the sound of the sea behind us.
"I love you too, Lena," he breathed after a while and at first I thought the sea had played a trick on me. But when I looked up at him again, there was a sparkle in the lion's blue eyes that revealed the truth to me. He had actually said.
"I want out of this armour at last," he complained softly.
"Show me to your chambers and I will help you take it off."
He nodded and let go of me. We walked to the foot of a tower, then he looked at me.
"Are you allowed to climb stairs again by now?"
"The grandmaester didn't say anything. I guess so."
So carefully we walked together up the steps into the tower.
Light filtered into the room through the windows, and my eyes immediately fell on the huge table. Behind it, a half-height wall separated part of the room, adorned by a steel grille with two rearing lions. Just like on the banner.
Through the archway I saw a desk piled high with parchments and books. Yes, that was the image I knew. Tywin's workplace. But not as dark and cold as on Harrenhal, no. Here one could feel at ease.
He led me across the room through another door. Half the room was taken up by a bed, and opposite was a large balcony.
"Do you like it here, or why are your eyes shining like that?"
"It's so much warmer here than in Harrenhal! Not only from the climate, but also the furnishings!"
He snorted in amusement. I looked at him in confusion.
"What amuses you?"
"I think you're the first I've heard that from. No one else gives such thought to the institution, at least not towards the nobility."
"I just set my priorities differently from others," I explained simply, undoing the straps of his armour.
"I quickly noticed," the lord replied, stepping out of his armour and slipping into one of his leather robes instead. I had been pacing back and forth meanwhile, looking fascinated at all the little decorations and details. I had never seen such fine art before.
I sensed Tywin close behind me and looked up. Slowly he put his arms around me.
"It's much better without armour."
I squeezed my eyes shut and took a deep breath, trying to suppress my trembling. But it did not work.
"Shh... Lena, calm down. I'm here, it's all right."
I turned to him and eyed him. Then I took the badge of the hand and carefully attached it to his robe on the right at chest level.
"I assume you must wear this."
"Are you trying to deflect from the subject again?" he asked, twitching an eyebrow. I ran a hand through my hair.
"What makes you think that?"
He tapped his own badge, not taking his eyes off me for a second. He seemed thoughtful for a moment, then spoke.
"You'll have to get used to it. Eventually it will work, I'm sure of it. We'll feel our way along together."
I breathed shallowly and eyed him. Why was I having such trouble with this? I sighed heavily and lowered my head.
"I'd like to change it right now if I could."
Carefully, he put his hand on my shoulder. I was allowing that by now.
"Don't worry about it. We were able to sleep next to each other once, so we can do it again."
"But Tywin, shouldn't I get my own room like other servants?"
"Officially, yes. But if you're going to differentiate between lord and servant, then I may as well keep giving you orders."
"Of course, Lord Tywin. What can I serve with?"
Before I knew it, he had pulled me close to him again.
"I demand that you abide by the following command for the rest of your life! Understood?"
I nodded slowly. What was he going to do? Tywin's face was completely serious as he spoke.
"I command you to never leave me again!"
I pressed against his warm body and felt the tears gathering in my eyes. I couldn't stop two of them from making their way down my cheeks before I swallowed and gave him my answer.
"Never, Tywin. You have my word!"
He looked down at me, regarded me with fascination.
"Why are you crying?"
"Because...because I am happy. After all these years of loneliness, I have wanted nothing more than a home. And I had to look into the abyss to realise it was within my reach. All along."
Carefully he approached me, his gaze seeming to pierce me.
"Close your eyes."
I obeyed and moments later could feel his breath warm on my face.
"Don't move. Do you trust me?"
Slowly I nodded and a heartbeat later felt his lips on my cheeks, careful and deliberate. First right, then left, he kissed my tears away. Blinking, I opened my eyes, looked at him for a long time. I had held still! My heart beat faster and louder, I smiled increasingly. Fascinated, I stroked my hand up his arm to his shoulder, feeling exactly the soft warm leather. I repeated the same on the other side. I slid my hands further up his neck to his face, carefully cupping his chin and neck. Thumbs gently stroked his stubble, then I began to pull him down to me. Tywin twitched an eyebrow, looked at me piercingly.
"Are you sure you don't want to wait a little longer?" he murmured softly.
"Let me try," I replied tonelessly, rising to my toes. I gathered all my courage and closed my eyes, only to feel his lips very gently and tentatively on mine a moment later....