𝙸 𝙲𝚊𝚗'𝚝 𝙲𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚜

𝚂𝟷𝙴𝟻: 𝚂𝚎𝚡 𝙴𝚍 𝚘𝚛 𝙱𝚞𝚜𝚝

CW: This chapter includes strong themes of sex, but nobody actually has explicit sex. We're just trying to have healthy discussions for the sake of a sex-positive environment.

Inspired by Community S1E11: "The Politics of Human Sexuality"

Annabeth POV

Annabeth stares at the condom her nemesis Dean D forced into her palm.

"STD-fense" is written on the gold foil packaging. Is she supposed to laugh? This is a joke, right?

"Flip it over," says the dean.

Annabeth reads the text aloud. "'Come to the Safe Sex Fair tonight....' What the hell? Is this you targeting me again? I told you, I'm not a-"

"Do you like it?" Hazel prances up to Annabeth. "I wrote the messages on them myself!"

Hazel's never exactly struck Annabeth as the 'promote safe sex' type, but she's learned that there isn't anything about this school that's unsurprising.

"Hazel..." says Annabeth. "It's, uh, cute... but did you consider that writing on condoms with fine tip pen would... you know..."

She looks at Annabeth expectantly.

"Hazel," she starts again. "Do you know how these work?"

Hazel shrugs. "Guys put them on for..." She mouths S-E-X. Wow, this girl is repressed. "Did you want more? I can get you more! Oh, you should come to the fair tonight! We'll have tons! I have to plan more cute messages to put on them."

Annabeth decides not to be the bad guy. Someone else can explain the consequences of poking holes in condoms.

Dean D turns to Hazel. "I'm so thankful for all the hard work you've put into New Rome's Safe Sex Fair, Ms. Lean-Cuisine! I would love to bestow upon you the honor of giving tonight's condom demonstration."

Annabeth almost spits out her Diet Coke. Hazel? The one who fans herself when Leo talks about 'da ladies?' They can't even watch a movie with a kissing scene when Hazel's around.

Hazel tugs her mask down and takes a sip of water. The redness on her face is obvious.

"Oh, don't worry," says Dean D. "We wouldn't have you using a banana- no! Our mannequin is very lifelike."

Hazel makes a sound that comes out like a squeak.

And that's Annabeth's cue to leave. She'll have nothing to do with this.

"Annabeth, wait!"

"Walk and talk, Hazel. We're going to the same place," she responds.

Hazel picks up the pace to match Annabeth's stride. "Well, you've uh, done it a lot, right?"

"Excuse me?"

"I mean, you've had a lot of... you know..." Hazel looks at the sidewalk.

"Look who it is!" shouts Piper McLean. She slings an arm around Annabeth and throws the other over Hazel's shoulder.

"Literally living in a pandemic, Pipes," says Annabeth.

Hazel perks up. "Oh, good! You're here too! I like having girlfriends. I've never had girlfriends before."

Ugh, not the guilt trip again.

Piper gushes. "Aw, Hazel, you are too sweet! We love being your gal pals. Don't we, Annie?"