𝙸 𝙲𝚊𝚗'𝚝 𝙲𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚜

𝚂𝟹𝙴𝟷𝟹: 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚂𝚎𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚝 𝙻𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝙵𝚛𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚝𝚢 𝙱𝚛𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛

Inspired by Community S3E22: "Introduction to Finality."

Frank POV

The fraternity life isn't awful, or at least, that's what Frank keeps telling himself. Sure, his roommate Mark smells bad, and he wakes up to Clarisse yelling at him daily. Also, it constantly smells like weed and alcohol, which is weird considering the emphasis that the fraternity puts on drug and alcohol safety. He also has to complete a Wii Fitness training module every morning with the other pledges and Sherman.

The only super bad part is that he can't go back home to Canada for the summer and work at the zoo, not when the frat house requires upkeeping.

If you were to ask him—and he can only assume he will be asked—what his favorite part of living in the fraternity house is, he'd say it's probably Sherman's Dunk-A-Roo dip. Who knew raw cake batter could be so tempting?

Anyways, Frank's having a typical day—about as normal as he can get living with this crew—and then Ellis has to tell him about this thing his new pet macaw said last night.

Now, Ellis has this habit of getting high on mushrooms when his girlfriends dump him. Granted, it's his own fault, but Frank's been through this with him twice, which is enough to know that he can't trust everything Ellis thinks he hears during these trying times.

But he hears him out anyway because he's still hung up over some girl from Valhalla that dumped him the other night.

"Ella said something to me," he says.

Ella squawks from her cage. Never has Frank heard the macaw Ella say anything in his time here at the fraternity, but Ellis swears the damn bird can talk, especially when he's just come off a bad trip.

Frank sighs and fakes a smile. "What'd she say?"

Ellis takes a sip from his morning coffee and says, "She told me of a prophecy."

Great. Now the macaw can see the future.

Ellis continues as if this is completely normal. "She says that we're awaiting some sort of a savior. I think her words were messiah? Anyway, someone's going to save the fraternity."

"From?" Frank asks.

Ellis shrugs and chugs the rest of his coffee. "Put some more newspaper in her cage for me, okay?"

Frank rolls his eyes as if he's totally against the idea, and to be fair, he is, but he won't let the animal go without fresh newspaper.

"Listen up!" Clarisse shouts. "Tonight's the back-to-school mingling party with our sister sorority, the Amazons."

"I didn't know we had a sister sorority," Frank whispers to Ellis.

Clarisse continues her speech. "We're going to try and keep it outside—pool party sort of deal—but I still want to see this house spic and span. Those wonderful lesbians better feel comfortable making out on your beds if they damn please."

Frank isn't comfortable with strangers making out on his bed, but he chooses not to speak up. Besides, maybe they're nice lesbians.

"Also!" she says. "Make sure you're extra nice to their president, Hylla. I just think she's nice, and we should show her a good time."

Frank's all about hospitality, so he'll go for that.

Clarisse starts writing on the chalkboard they use to divvy out the pre-party chores. Ellis will mow the lawn, Sherman will take care of the food, Mark will clean the upstairs parts of the house, and finally, Clarisse gets to Frank's name.