The Weekend - Completed

Chapter 54

As the familiar shape of his lips pressed harder against my mouth I was instantly transported back to the tiny room in Wrexham all those years ago, emptiness stirred from within me when I remembered how I'd felt that first time he'd kissed me, the anticipation, the longing, the desire. It would be easy I thought to pretend the life I'd lived between these two kisses didn't exist; allow myself to get lost in the moment, but the truth was I neither could nor did I want to forget the years which had filled the time, so regaining my senses I pulled away.

"Daniel what are you doing!" I snapped as I raised my hands to his chest and pushed him away.

"I'm so sorry Alex" I wasn't sure if he was embarrassed, mortified or just crestfallen. "I just couldn't think of another way to stop you from leaving." He ran his hand awkwardly through his hair and averted his eyes away from mine.

"What!" The irritation in my tone very clear, "What are you talking about?" I had unconsciously scrunched up my nose and was shaking my head illustrating my unhappiness at these recent developments.

"Don't play dumb Alex" he snapped back at me, unfortunately I wasn't playing I really hadn't expected him to kiss me, as my expression didn't change from one of incredulous disbelief he sighed heavily and I swear I could see him shrink inside. His eyes flashed for a second and I knew he was considering his next move, trying to decide exactly what he wanted to say.

"I shouldn't have kissed you, I apologise for just pouncing on you, but I don't regret it...you have no idea how long I have wanted to feel your touch, taste you." Now I am sure my open gaping mouth wasn't quite the reaction he had been hoping for but it seems I'd lost control of my facial muscles, raising his hand to my face he lifted my chin and closed it for me before smiling.

"Well this is a first, don't think I've ever seen you lost for words" he joked trying to lighten the tense atmosphere between us; I however couldn't see the humorous side to this conversation so I continued to stare at him in disbelief.

"Okay" He began before blowing out a huge breath and closing his eyes, "Alex...I love you, I have always loved you and no doubt I will always love you, and whether you are ready to admit it to yourself or not I can see it when you look at me that you love me too." His eyes sprung open and they bore deep into mine waiting, hoping for any flicked of admission on my part.

"That day on the phone, I made the biggest mistake of my life, and there hasn't been a single day when I didn't regret it. I know I hurt you Alex, but please I'm asking you to give me another chance." By now he has holding both my arms in his hands, his penetrating gaze was making me feel dizzy and I looked to the ground trying to gather my thoughts.

"Alex please say something, let me know what you're thinking" He pleaded, I swallowed hard and slowly raised my head so I could look at him, I knew my eyes were filled with tears which would in seconds break through the barrier of my lower lids and start cascading down my cheeks, but I knew I had to show him I meant what I said.

"Daniel, I'm sorry but I can't" my free flowing tears were already dipping off my chin. "I can't just forget what happened and I will never forgive you." He took a deflated step back from me, the pain and despair in his eyes sending an ache to my heart but I knew I had to stand strong.

"But I love you; I have waited such a long time to tell you." His words trailed off as he again searched my face for any sign of hope, suddenly his eyes flashed and with renewed vigour he spoke again. "I know this has come as a surprise to you, I understand it's a lot for you to take in, given time to think about..." The desperation in his voice only made my fat tears slip faster down my face.

"No Daniel" I cut him off, "This is goodbye" and I turned to get into my car.

"No, it can't be, I can't lose you again." I could hear his sobs as I closed the door and drove away.