The Weekend - Completed

Chapter 24

The month since I had last been in Wrexham had felt like an eternity. I'd filled my days with lectures and long hours of study, little of which had been of any use; you see my mind was always wandering to the tiny room on the top floor of the end dorm. I found myself loosing focus in conversations with my peers as my mind drifted back to the endless hours I'd spent there with Daniel, the things we'd said and how he made me feel.

The evenings were harder, my whole night revolved around our regular eight o'clock phone call, I desperately needed to hear his voice, I had missed him so much. I found I was scolding myself for falling so fast and so hard, I'd try to be chatty and upbeat during our phone calls as I wanted him to think I was a happy, independent, strong young woman, not a crumbling wreck pining away after a boyfriend she'd only had for a week. Our conversations always followed the same patterned; we'd talk about our day, I'd ask about everyone there and he'd fill me in on all the news. Then I'd remind him I needed to go soon, I was dreading the phone bill; well actually I was dreading my dad's reaction to the phone bill.

"Right then I'd best be off" I'd say, or something equally nonchalant, then he'd tell me how much he missed me and I would reciprocate. Next I'd tell how I can't wait to see him, then it was his turn to reciprocate, and this would go on until finally it was time to go.

As soon as I put the phone down I felt empty, every night I chastised myself for wasting so much precious time on small talk. But what was I suppose to say to him, should I tell him I can't concentrate on anything, despite all my extra work my grades have started to slip, but I can hardly say my plummeting academic attainment was a surprise, I mean the lecturers drone on and on and although I can see their mouths moving it's like the world has had the volume turned down on it, the only think I can hear is my internal voice constantly chattering about Daniel; wonder what he's doing now? Wonder what he's wearing? Do you think he's met someone else? It's been ages since you last saw him. Wonder if he's missing you? Should I tell him my life revolves around our half hour telephone conversations? Does he know they are what keep me going, there like food to my starved soul? Should I tell him this is killing me? Should I tell him I need to feel the touch of his lips on mine, hear his voice, look deep into his jade eyes, smell his clean, just showered skin? Hmmm perhaps not, even to me I sound like an obsessed, psychotic bunny boiler, yeah my intensity might scare him off. But I have felt like I'm in ground hog day, just going through the motions, repeating the same mundane day forever. Who'd have thought four weeks could be this long and tortuous.

I can feel the excitement growing inside me as I finally sit on the train to Wrexham. The old woman sitting across from me keeps looking at me out the corner of her eye, I'm sure she thinks I've escaped from either a mental institute or a low level detention centre, as she persists in drawing her coat closer and tighter to her body. Whichever it is she isn't taking any chances, and despite eyeing me every couple of seconds she masterfully avoids eye contract. I can't blame her for thinking I'm a bit odd, after all I can't sit still, I'm like a seven year old on Christmas eve, the anticipation is driving me insane, like with the young child, the wait has been endless but these last few hours are the worse, not long now before you get your presents and what you want.

As soon as I recognise the station I'm up out of my seat, bag on shoulder waiting for the train to come to a standstill and the doors to open. The minute or so it takes for the train to come to a halt is cruelly playing out in slow motion which seems to last forever, I quickly scan each of the faces of the waiting passengers on the platform before moving onto the next hoping to catch my first glimpse of Daniel and as the doors finally open I can smell the rain that drizzled lightly.

I hurry off the train and there he is, waiting in the exact same spot I'd left him, just for a second I wanted to believe he'd stayed there the entire time whimpering after me like a little puppy eagerly awaiting my return. I don't know what I'd been expecting from our reunion but his cool smile and light peck on the cheek wasn't it. I looked at him confused, taking my bag from me, he hauled it onto his shoulder and with his spare hand he reached to hold mine, and then without warning he quickly pulled us from the station, no conversation, no passionate embrace, no nothing! What had just happened? I mean had I missed something?