The Weekend - Completed

Chapter 18

I threw my belongings into my bags, crumpled clothes, toiletries and books overflowed out of each, my frustration rising with each attempt to ram them in. Finally deciding to give up I skulked into the tiny bathroom.

I spent the next 20 minutes under the hot shower; I could physically feel the trials of the last 24 hours draining out of me. I relished the solitude and reconstructed the recent events which had left me so exhausted. The water washed over and over my face intermingling with the salty tears which had refused to cease since walking away from the confrontation on the steps.

Finally feeling cleansed of the tension, if still very confused by the severity of Daniel's loathing for me, I quickly dressed and returned to sort my bags out. The shower had calmed me, I no longer felt angry and frustrated now I just felt empty inside. As I zipped my backpack I was surprised by my feeling of detachment, I no longer felt anything, I searched inside myself but nothing; I was numb. I wondered if this was my coping mechanism, my self-protection, I guess my sort of 'auto-pilot'. I knew I'd experienced the comforting nothingness and speculated if I'd developed this extrication after what happened to my mum.

I quickly scanned the tiny room to check I hadn't left anything behind, I was just getting up off the floor from inspecting under the bed for stray belongings, when, to my surprise, I heard a knock on the door, I opened it hesitantly.

"Oh you're still here" Daniel said as I opened the door. The inner calm I'd felt from the shower was quickly evaporating.

"You've got to be kidding me" I said shaking my head, although seething I kept my temper, "There's no need for you to escort me off the campus" I said curtly. "I don't WANT to be here, I'm going don't worry." I snapped, I could see confusion flicker across his face.

"That's not why I'm here, I needed to talk to you, can I come in?" he asked tentatively.

I felt my 'auto-pilot' light come on again and hoped the numbness would quickly spread, "No!" I replied brusquely, "I've had enough, I'm done. Whatever insult, accusation or expletive you forgot to say to me before, I don't care I don't want to hear it. I told you I'm going can't you just be content with that?" I concluded sadly.

"But..." he began

"I'm tired of arguing with you, I haven't got the energy to listen to you shouting at me again. Please, I just want to go home and forget all about this place." my head sank as my heart followed suit.

"No, I've got something I have to say to you" his tone was determined and he pushed past me then walked into the room.

Closing the open door I moved into the room and stood against the wall at the end of the bed. I kept my eyes firmly focused on the weaved pattern of the carpet and the various stains on it. I braced myself for his verbal onslaught, rather than talking he was pacing up and down the tiny room, every three strides he needed to turn round for a return trip, with each passing second of silence a greater sensation of nausea flowed over me, my trepidation mounting until I could stand the quiet no longer.

"Just say what you came here to say." I implored

"Right, I just wanted to apologise, I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt you before." If I wasn't so desperate for him to leave and for the ordeal to be over I'd have challenged him to specify exactly which time he was referring to, as that was all he'd done this weekend, I could easily think of three of four different occasions, but I held my tongue and let him continue.

"I know it's no excuse, I was just so pissed off with you." I quickly thought this wasn't my idea of an apology, but what's the point in arguing I just needed the whole episode to be over, so I swallowed my provocation and dismissively replied,