Chapter 15

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The holidays had flown, besides Christmas day I'd spent most of it with Katie, it was just like old times. Although she'd asked several times when I was next going to visit I'd managed to avoid the question. Wrexham had lost its charm for me, and although there were a handful of people I was going to miss I didn't want to face HIM again. I'd run through the events of my last visit and yes I had over reacted but he'd gotten me so mad, on hindsight thought I'm not sure I was actually mad at him, I thing I was more maddened that I'd had to explain about my mum again. I suppose looking back I should be flattered he was only annoyed because I was leaving before we'd really had chance to spend any time together. But no, I couldn't stand the thought of going back and seeing that same sympathetic expression on his face. The sad, half smile people had given me for years. No I'd make my excuses and stay away.

Katie and I both had exams in January, so we'd decided to keep in touch via meticulously organised phone calls. I would ring her twice a week, 7:00pm Wednesday and 1:00pm Sunday. Although these were low tariff times I'd still have to give my dad money towards the phone bill. Not that I'm complaining, it was great just hearing from her, it was only after these calls I realised how lonely I was, how much I missed her, how much I missed all of them.

Initially our calls had lasted about half an hour, Katie would keep me updated on what she and everyone else was up to and I would listen attentively, perking up every time she mentioned Daniel's name. These were very few and far between as she told me countless tales of how Chris had managed to score the winning try and how he'd been hailed the hero.

Our phone routine had changed recently, the new format was now that I'd talk to Katie for a quarter of an hour or so, then Sarah, and occasionally Naomi, would chat for a couple of minutes then I would spend the next half an hour talking to James. Although I loved talking to Katie, it was these conversations with James I most looked forward to.

Although we'd only known each other for a couple of weeks I knew I could talk to him about anything. It was during these phone calls we'd talked about my mum's illness and later her dying. How my family had been left devastated and empty. How I'd tried so hard to make things right, how I'd tried to fill her role in the house, cleaning, cooking and just trying to get our family back. How I'd heard my dad crying every night for months when he thought we'd all gone to sleep. How my dad couldn't bear to look at me after her death because I reminded him so much of her. I recalled the tale of when I'd decided to dye my hair so I would look different; I'd bought a home dye kit and set about following the instructions. Half an hour later when I removed the towel from my head, instead of the expected honey blonde colour, my hair was luminous green. I'd let out an almighty scream and my dad had charged up the stairs only to burst out laughing when he saw me. It'd been the first time I'd heard him laugh in over a year, and I maintain to this day it was worth it. It was that day I realised we'd be ok.

James had told me about his family, home and his life. He'd told me how he hadn't been able to tell his parents about him being gay. He suspected his mum had known for a while but she'd never said anything. He'd described his father as a maniacal religious zealot, when he spoke of his childhood his voice was full of love and admiration for his mother, but fear and contempt for his father. He told me of a time when he and his family had been watching the TV and a gay couple had been on screen, his father had been so disgusted he'd ordered his mum to 'turn this filth off' when his mother had tried to reason with him he'd grabbed her and shock her hard shouting in her face, 'I am not having that in my house, it's against God's will, I'd sooner my son was dead than a homosexual.' James had wept as he concluded the story, it was the one time I wished he was sat next to me not on the other end of a phone line, I longed to put my arms around him and comfort him. I also longed to thrash his dad round the head with the bible whilst quoting the beatitudes to him, but I thought it best not to share this opinion with James. For all he said about his father it was clear the one thing he longed for was his love and acceptance, but listening to him talk this was a pipe dream, and unless his father had a lobotomy, this wasn't likely to happen.

It was a Wednesday night, I had spoken to Katie, Chris had said a quick hello, Sarah had chatted for a while and James and I had put the world to rights, I'd been on the phone for over an hour and we were winding our conversation to an end when James cut into my goodbyes

"Erm Daniel wants a word with you" he sounded as confused as I felt, I didn't reply, I could hear them talking to each other but couldn't make out what they were saying.

"Alex, Alex are you still there?" James asked.

"Yeah, I'm still here, I'm just not sure I want to talk to him" I said honestly.

"Just hear him out" James soothed, the phone again went quiet and I could hear their muffled conversation before Daniel came on the line.

"Hi, how you doing?" He asked tentatively.

"Fine and you?" Was the only thing I could think to say in reply.

"Oh ok you know" the silence between us seemed to stretch on, "So, how did your exams go?" he asked conversationally. I was starting to get impatient; he hadn't suddenly decided, after weeks of silence, he needed to know how my exams had gone.

"Daniel, what do you want?" although I didn't want to sound curt I knew I hadn't succeeded. He laughed uncomfortably for a split second before continuing to speak.

"You're right, I didn't want to know about your exams, you always surprise me with your directness, I've missed that." His words trailed off.

"So, what did you wanted to talk to me about?" I encouraged

"I wanted to apologies, I was such an idiot last time I saw you, I'm sorry for the way I behaved, I didn't know about your" I cut him off before he could finish his sentence.

"I know, but thank you for your apology. I'm sorry too, I handled things badly" I admitted.

"I've felt crap for weeks but didn't know what to say to you, I hated that I'd upset you. So are we ok, friends again?" His tone dripped hopefulness.

"Sure why not" I could feel the smile spreading across my face.

"Good I'm glad we've got that sorted. Now we're friends I was wondering if you'd do me a favour" I could hear the nervousness in his voice. Intrigued I pushed him to continue.

"Next Friday is the rugby club fundraiser, and I was wondering if you'd go with me." Katie had talked endlessly about the rugby club fundraiser, otherwise known as the 'Valentine's Day Ball.'

"Erm, I don't know" I said hesitantly.

"Please, I'd really like you to come with me, give me chance to make up for being such a prick last time you were here." He justified.

"I'm not sure, I don't think it's very appropriate, do you?" I contested.

"Why not?" His indignant tone caught me off guard slightly, I thought it was obvious why I it wasn't a good idea, clearly he needed me to spell it out to him.

"Shouldn't you be going with Tina?" I explained

"Oh that's what's bothering you, no Tina and I split up a couple of weeks ago. So now we've cleared that up will you go with me?" I tried to think through the reasons why I shouldn't go, but now he was single I couldn't think of any.

"Erm" cutting me off before I had chance to finish he rushed in,

"If you don't go with me I'll be sat there on my own all night, do you want me to beg?" He added teasingly.

"No of course not, I'd love to go with you, thanks for inviting me." I could feel me face flush hotly and was eternally grateful he couldn't see my scarlet checks from down the phone line.

"Great, well it's a date then, if you let Katie or James know when you're getting to the station I'll come and meet you, see you next week, bye." With that the phone went dead, I looked down the receiver feeling very confused, if you'd told me five minutes ago I'd be going on a date with Daniel I'd have thought I'd overdosed on cough medicine.

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