Better Off Alone (Adopted by Brendon and Sarah Urie)

16. Sarah

Brendon came back into our room, went into the closet and went back to Callie's room where he'd gone in to check on her.

He came back a few minutes later and told me Callie had been hiding her stuffed bear because the Children's home and her last foster home made fun of her for it. He reassured her that no one is ever too old for stuffies. He still has his teddy bear and I still have my stuffed rabbit.

We settled down to sleep, both of us feeling content that Callie was our daughter and our family was complete.

Something woke me in the middle of the night. Strange sounds. I woke Brendon up.

"What?" He asked as I poked him awake.

"Somethings wrong? I hear something strange."

Brendon sat up and listened.

"I don't hear anything," he frowned.

"Shhh," I said, listening.

There was a gutteral sound out in the hallway. Bogart had his head up and was whimpering. He hopped off the bed and pawed at the door.

"Brendon go check," I said.

He sighed but got up. I followed him out into the hallway and we went slowly down the hall trying to find the source of the sound. It was louder out here. It almost sounded like someone was trying to yell.

The closer we got to Callie's room, the louder it got.

"It's Callie!" I said. I rushed down the rest of the hall and into her room. She was on her bed thrashing around as if trying to get away from something.

I ran to her and sat on her bed, trying to catch her flailing limbs.

"Shh, shhh," I said, even though I knew she couldn't hear me. I moved hair away from her face. She was slick with sweat. Her brow furrowed and she continued to cry out. I gently shook her shoulder trying to wake her up.

Finally, she opened her eyes and cowered from me. She looked at me and then at Brendon and cowered further, her hands flying.

Brendon turned on her bedside lamp and sat down on the bed beside me. He picked up her phone and started furiously typing.

'Callie, we can't understand you. But it's okay. You're safe and you just had a nightmare. You're okay. We're here.'

She was cowered in the corner between the wall and us.

Brendon showed her her phone and she cowered further. I wasn't sure if she was fully awake yet. She was breathing hard. I reached out for her and at first she cowered away, then looked at me and recognition crossed her face. She took her phone and read what Brendon had typed.

She shook her head 'no'.

'No, what?' He typed.

Callie shook her head again and then started crying. I put out my arms and Callie came to me. I held our daughter as she cried. We didn't know why she was so scared or what her nightmare had been about. And she didn't seem able to put it into words we could understand yet.

'Callie,' Brendon typed. 'Please tell us what your nightmare was about.'

He looked at her with the most sympathetic look he could muster. She shook her head and took her phone.

'I can't,' she typed.

'When you're ready, we'll listen.'

Callie shook her head again. We agreed to leave it for now. Whatever it was had clearly terrified her and pushing her to tell us wasn't going to help.

'Do you want to come sleep with us tonight?' Brendon asked. 'Or one of us to stay?'

She looked between the two of us and shook her head, clutching Mr. Tibbles tightly.

'Okay,' Brendon typed. 'We'll leave your door open a bit in case you need us.'

Callie shook her head no violently.

'Okay, we won't,' Brendon typed, looking at me. I shrugged. 'But we are going to get the monitor John suggested. Because I feel like we could have stopped this from getting so bad if we'd heard you earlier.'

Brendon tucked a bit of hair behind Callie's ear. She cowered at his touch.

'I'll never hurt you, Callie,' Brendon typed.

"Sorry," Callie signed. Brendon smiled at her, typed, 'I'll let Mom tuck you back in' and signed something to her.

"It's 'good night'," he explained to me.

I smiled, gave Callie another hug and pulled the covers back for her.

'Are you sure you don't want me to stay?' I typed.

'Can you just stay until I fall back to sleep?' Callie typed back.

I nodded and kissed her forehead, and lay down. Beside her. Callie took my hand and played with wedding band. She snuggled into me and I ran my fingers through her hair.

Whatever had terrorized her in her dream seemed to be fading away as I heard her breathing even out.

I stayed until I was certain she was asleep, and hoping for her to have a peaceful sleep for the rest of the night, I went back to our room.

"What took you so long?" Brendon asked as I climbed back into bed.

"Callie asked me to stay until she fell asleep," I said.

"Oh," Brendon said. He sounded a little dejected.

"We don't know a lot about her past," I said. "Maybe we should see if we can speak to her social worker?"

"That might not be a bad idea," Brendon agreed.

We settled back into bed and were asleep in minutes.