Better Off Alone (Adopted by Brendon and Sarah Urie)

19. Callie

Mom and Dad were taking sign classes without their friends so they could learn more, faster.

Then they said they wanted to send me to a school for the Deaf. I'd never been to one. But they wanted to make appointments to see some, so I guess I'll go. I bet they're expensive and they'll realize Deaf kids aren't worth the hassle and expense.

We went out for dinner. Sushi is actually pretty good. And raw fish isn't that gross. I enjoyed myself and taught them some signs for 'fish', and 'rice' and stuff.

They practiced what sign language they knew and Dad texted that they were going to try to only sign with me. Even when we're out in public.

Sounds nice but, they'll realize that it's hard and give up. Just like everyone else. Especially since. Dad has fans and they don't know sign language. He'll have to talk to them. And I'll be left out. As usual.

I appreciated they were trying, but I knew sooner or later they'd give up. For now, I'd pretend I was happy they were trying.

After dinner we went home. Dad went out to his studio.

'Come out to my studio,' Dad texted me. 'I want to introduce you to my fans.'

I showed the text to Mom.

"He streams on the computer,' Mom said with a mix of sign language and finger spelling. "He wants you to meet his fans."

I raised my eyebrows and asked.

"How?"

"I mean, his fans meet you."

Oh. I nodded.

"Ok," I signed. "I'll go."

I went outside and knocked on Dad's studio door.

He opened it and his face lit up.

He motioned me in and I followed him.

He sat me in front of his computer on a stool and got into the chair beside me.

He was talking and I couldn't really read his lips. I watched as he signed and readjusted myself so I could read his lips, too.

"This is Callie," and showed them my sign name. "She's my daughter."

I saw comments coming up the side.

'Daughter?!'

'What's with the hand movements?'

"Callie is Deaf," Dad signed. "Sarah and I are learning sign language."

'She's cute,' I saw someone type.

"Callie," Dad said. "Say hi."

I waved at the camera.

'How old is Callie?' Someone asked. I signed 12.

"Callie is 12," Dad signed and said.

"Why did you adopt a deaf kid?" Someone else asked.

"Because, why not? Callie needed a home and I'm glad we did, because she's smart, and funny and loves music," Dad said.

"Loves music?!  How?!  She's deaf!!"

Tears threatened behind my eyes.

"Hey now!" I saw Dad say. "Callie has her own way of appreciating music. She can feel the vibrations. She may not be able to hear the lyrics, but she can get the beat and tone changes."

"Callie, can you teach us a sign?"

I looked at Dad and shrugged.

"Like what?" I asked.

"She'd like to know what sign you'd like her to teach you," Dad translated.

"What's the sign for 'music'?" Someone asked. I showed them the sign.

"Callie, do you call Brendon and Sarah 'mom and dad' and what's the sign for that?"

I pointed at Dad and signed 'dad'. I pointed towards the house and signed 'mom'.

"Do you have sign names for them?"

I blushed and did the so-so motion with my hand.

"What's my sign name?" Dad asked.

I told him I wasn't sure yet but was leaning towards the music sign, but with a B."

"I like that," Dad said.

The comments kept coming and people kept asking to learn some signs. Which I thought was pretty cool.

Until someone asked what happened to my birth parents.

I got up and told Dad I had to go to the washroom, and ran out of the studio and into the house. I couldn't tell them. No one could ever know.

As soon as I got into the house I ran up to my room and threw myself on my bed.  I pulled a pillow over my head so that if Mom or Dad knocked, I wouldn't see the light and hopefully they'd know to leave me alone.

It didn't work. About five minutes later, Dad came in and sat on my bed and touched my shoulder to get my attention. 

"What happened?" He asked. "Why did you run out?"

"I had to use the toilet," I signed.

Dad looked at me skeptically.

"Really?" He asked. I nodded.

"So why are you hiding in your room?"

I was stumped.

"I, I'm tired," I said. Dad didn't buy it.

"What is it Callie? Really?"

"Nothing. I just don't like talking about my parents."

Dad pulled me up into a hug and kissed the top of my head.

"We love you no matter what. One day, if you're ready, you can tell us about them. Okay?"

I nodded. But I knew I could never tell them the truth.