Better Off Alone (Adopted by Brendon and Sarah Urie)

36. Brendon

I was able to coax Callie into the water with me. We were jumping in the waves and diving under and through them. Callie had a smile on her face and it was so beautiful to see.

Sarah and my parents were up on the beach, talking. We waved at them but they didn't see us.

Just then, a big wave came and knocked Callie over. I tried to reach for her but the wave pulled her out of my reach. She came up sputtering and as she took a deep breath, another wave hit her in the face again, knocking her over and pulling her even further out.

I kept trying to chase and reach her. By now, I hadn't seen her head break the surface. I scanned the water around me, looking for Callie. I couldn't find her and the waves were growing.

Finally, I caught sight of her floating, face down, about 100 yards away. I swam fast to her and grabbed her body. Her eyes were closed, her lips were blue, her skin was pale. I cradled her in my arms and tried to feel a pulse. Nothing.

I grabbed her and as soon as I got my footing, ran out of the water screaming at Sarah or my parents to call 911.

I put Callie's lifeless body on our blanket as Sarah frantically called the emergency number.  I started chest compressions and tried to breathe for her.

"Come on Callie," I pleaded. I knew she wouldn't hear me, but it made me feel better.

Suddenly I was being pulled away.

"No, no, no, no!" I said, fighting the hands pulling me away.

"Brendon, it's the paramedics. Let them work on Callie," my mom said as my dad held me in a bear hug.

The paramedics put an AED by Callie and set it up. They took over chest compressions and I watched, terrified, as they shocked her small body.

"Come on, Callie," I whispered.

"Sinus rhythm," I heard as the paramedics shocked Callie a third time. "Let's move her."

Sarah pushed me to go with Callie in the ambulance. I climbed in with her, took her hand and cried. The paramedics were still pushing air into Callie's lungs. She wasn't breathing on her own. They'd restarted her heart, but her lungs weren't working on their own. Were we going to lose her?

At the hospital, I chased the stretcher into the ER. They pushed me back as they went in.

"She's Deaf!" I called after them. "She's not going to be able to hear you when she wakes up! She's going to be scared!"

They didn't listen. Arms encircled me again. I looked. It was Sarah, followed closely by my parents.

"Have they told you anything?" Sarah asked as I sank into a chair.

I shook my head.

"She's not breathing on her own," I sobbed. "They restarted her heart, but she isn't breathing on her own."

Sarah hugged me. I started crying.

It felt like hours passed. No one came to tell us anything.  I was pacing, trying to keep myself from going through the doors and finding Callie.

Just as I was about to go anyway, a doctor came out.

"Mr and Mrs Urie?" He asked, looking around.

"That's us," Sarah said, coming to my side and pulling me over to the doctor. "How's Callie? Can we see her?"

"Okay," he said, sitting down. This couldn't be good. I sank into the chair across from him. "I'm Dr. Smith. I worked on Callie.

So, your daughter ingested a lot of water. She threw that up while we were working on her. That's a good sign. However she is still not breathing on her own. She's unconscious and on a respirator. We're going to send her for an MRI. Does she have any metal in her body we should know about? Pacemaker? Cochlear implant?"

"No. Not that we know of. Definitely not a cochlear implant or pacemaker though."

"Okay," the doctor said.  "I think she's going to be okay. I really do. We're going to do the MRI, make sure there is no damage to her brain, and then we'll be sending her up to the ICU. You can go on up there and wait in the lounge."

"She's going to be okay?" I asked.

"I see no reason why not. But once we've had those images done, we'll know more."

I nodded.

The doctor gave us directions to the ICU and we went there to wait. I burst into tears again when we got to the ICU lounge.

"She's going to be okay, Bren," Sarah said.

I shook my head.

"She wasn't breathing," I sobbed. "I felt her life draining away."

Sarah hugged me.

We sat and waited some more. About 45 minutes later, a nurse came into the lounge.

"Mr and Mrs Urie?" She asked. The four of us stood up.

"Which one of you are Mr and Mrs Urie?"

"We all are," I said. "These are my parents."

"Oh. Okay. Well, Callie has been brought upstairs and is being settled. You can come see her now. Room Four."

"Thank you," I said.  We went to find our daughter.

We walked up the hall and into room four. I broke down when I saw her.  She looked so tiny in the bed. She was laid flat on her back, her head tilted back and a tube coming out of her mouth. She had tubes and wires everywhere.  She was dwarfed by the machinery keeping her alive. Her eyes were closed.

"My baby!" I wailed, rushing over to the bed and grabbing her hand. I smoothed some hair down and held her hand. I gave it a squeeze. Nothing.

"I know you can't hear me, but Callie, you have to wake up," I whispered to her.

The four of us sat around Callie until dinner time when my parents suggested they go home, get us some changes of clothes and some food.

Sarah gave them the keys to the car and the house and asked them to let the dogs out and feed them.

They kissed me, they kissed Callie and then they left.