Better Off Alone (Adopted by Brendon and Sarah Urie)

95. Callie

He says they're not divorcing. I'm not sure that's true.

He says he's going to be around more. And while he has been, it's only been a couple of days. It won't be long before he leaves again.

I sighed as I lay on my bed after leaving the table. I rolled over and looked at my wall again. All this work and they're going to dump me anyway? Stupid. Rich people. They don't care about money anyway.

I rolled over and curled up. Should I pack? Should I leave before they can dump me at the stupid Children's Home? I fell asleep pondered my options. Not many.

I woke up in the morning feeling miserable. I got up, got dressed and showered (not in that order, obviously) and went downstairs. Brendon was in the kitchen.

"Good morning!" He smiled at me. I didn't return it. His face fell. I didn't care.

"Are you okay?" He asked. I shrugged.

Brendon came around the island and looked at me. He put his hand on my forehead and frowned.

"You don't feel warm. Do you feel okay?"

I nodded. I just wanted to go to school. Get out of this house. Away from him. From them.

Brendon served up pancakes and syrup and a glass of milk. I wasn't actually that hungry, but I tried to eat a little anyway.

"Ready to go to school?" He asked. I nodded. He looked at my plate. "You didn't eat much."

"Not hungry," I said, getting up, leaving my dishes and getting my school bag. I pulled on my shoes and we left. Sarah hadn't even bothered to come downstairs. Figured.

We drove to school and I ignored Brendon the whole way. As soon as we got to school, Brendon grabbed my arm and started signing to me. I pulled my arm out of his grasp and got out of the car. I didn't care what he had to say. I met with my friends and went into the school.

"You look upset," Brian said.

I shrugged.

"What's up?" He asked.

"My... Brendon. I'm pissed."

"Why?" He asked.

"He kept making promises and then breaking them."

"Didn't you say he was working?"

"So? He promised to be at the science fair and wasn't. He promised to be home for dinner and he skipped so many that he promised to be home for. I think they're splitting up and if they do, I'm sure it's back to the Children's Home for me."

"Why do you think they're splitting?" Brian asked.

"I saw him say 'leave the girls'. Me and Sarah."

"Why aren't you calling them Mom and Dad?"

"Because why would I if they're going to dump me off anyway?"

Brian frowned.

"Wasn't he working? Didn't you say he was working? Do you know what goes into a record? I don't but I bet it's a lot of work."

"Please. He just has to sing a song a few times and record it. That shouldn't take until three in the morning."

"I dunno," Paige said. "I'm sure there's more to it than singing a song a few times. What about instruments? And what happens if they sing it wrong?"

I frowned. My friends were supposed to be on my side.

"Never mind," I said.

In English class we talked about a book we were reading called 'The Giver'. And in math we did... math stuff. Algebra. Letter and numbers. Whose idea was it to put the alphabet in math? Social Studies was fun. We were going to have a mock Senate in February (another thing for Brendon to miss, if I was still even living with them then) so we were talking about how that was going to look.

In geography we were talking about Northern California and the Gold Rush.

At lunch, I just watched my friends chatting. It must be nice to have an uncomplicated life. Parents who love you and actually keep you safe. Parents who actually keep you. I excused myself and went out into the courtyard. I just needed some space.

After school I went out front and there was Brendon. Again. Standing outside his car, smiling at me.

I did the same thing I did the day before. I walked right past him and into the back seat. I wasn't interested in anything he had to say. I stared out the window as he got into the driver's seat.

He drove straight home but stopped me before I could get out of the car.

"Look, Callie, you have every right to be upset. But this is getting ridiculous. I want to make this up to you. I want you to know you can count on us. You can't stay mad at us forever."

Just try me, I thought. I pulled my arm away from him and went inside.

I went up to my room and slammed the door behind me. Then I went into my bathroom and locked the door on both sides - my room and the hallway.

I sat on the bathroom floor with my arms around my knees. I wish they'd just decide already. Because if they're taking me back, I'm gone. I'm not going back there. I can't. Not again.

Hot tears fell from my eyes. First my mom left me. Then my dad hurt me and then he left, too.

All my life all people have done is hurt me. One way or the other everyone in my life has hurt me.

I never could rely on anyone before. Why should that change now?

I put my head down on my knees and sobbed. No one came. No one checked in on me. I was already alone. I guess I'd better get used to it. I'll start making some sort of plans to leave, I guess. I just have to figure out where to go. Where can an almost 13-year-old go that's safe-ish? I couldn't go to any of Brendon and Sarah's friends. They'd just make me come back here.

I went into my room and pulled out an empty notebook. I started writing. Everything I was feeling, why leaving was the only option. I weighed pros and cons.

Then I lay on my bed, curled up and hugged Mr. Tibbles. He was the only thing in my life I could rely on. And he's just a stupid stuffed bunny.