Better Off Alone (Adopted by Brendon and Sarah Urie)

89. Brendon

We just couldn't get this one transition to work out the way I wanted it to. I could hear it in my head, and I could write the music out but I just couldn't get the sound right.

"Take it again from the second chord," I said to Mike, who was on Zoom. "It's almost midnight."

"Brendon, this is dumb. It's not going to sound right over Zoom. Let's pick it up at the studio tomorrow," he said. I sighed. He had a point.

"Wait, what?" I said to Mike.

"It's, like, five to midnight," Mike said. "It's already been a long day. We're in the studio tomorrow. We'll fix it then."

"Shit!" I said. "Shitshitshitshitshit."

I started cleaning up, putting instruments away, wiping ash off my desk, piling up papers.

"You alright, Brendon?" Dan asked.

"I promised Sarah and Callie I'd have dinner with them. Fuck!" I exclaimed. "I fucked up. Fuck! How did time get away? I gotta go. I'll see you guys tomorrow."

I ended the call, turned off my computer, and ran into the house.

There was a light on over the dining room table. It was empty. Everything had been cleared away and presumably, put away.

The kitchen was spotless. Everything had been cleaned and put away. There was a plate on the counter with a piece of paper on it.

'Brendon,' Sarah had written. Uh oh.

'I know you're busy finishing the album. I know you're working hard. Please don't think I don't understand. But Callie doesn't. You promised us you would be here for dinner.

You broke your promise.

You owe Callie an apology.

And sweetheart, you need to make time for our daughter. This is new to her. And she misses you.

There's food in the fridge if you're hungry.

S"

No 'love', no sign off. Just 'S'. I sighed. I didn't have an appetite now, so I put the plate away in the cupboard and went upstairs. I opened Callie's bedroom door and saw she was fast asleep, Mr. Tibbles in her arms, the moon shining through her window and across her face. I looked at her sleeping and felt the desire to wake her up and apologize. But I also knew Sarah would kill me if I did. And Callie would probably not be too happy with me either.

I kissed her forehead, and backed quietly out of her room. She rolled over and faced away from the door as I left.

Sarah was asleep when I came into our room, too. At least, her light was out and she looked asleep. I got ready for bed quietly, so as not to wake her up, and slid softly into bed.

"Your daughter is very upset, Brendon," she said into her pillow as I lay down. "She thinks you're planning on leaving us."

"What?" I said, sitting up. "Where did she get that idea?"

"She can read lips you know. She saw you say 'leave the girls'."

"I meant for tour. If we leave end of May Callie will be in school and I'd have to leave you two until she's done."

"She doesn't understand that. She doesn't get the context. And Brendon," she said. "You broke your promise to her."

"I know," I said. "I set my alarm. I swear. I don't know what happened."

"I do. And I'm used to it, sort of. But Callie isn't. All she sees is you're never here and you keep talking about packing and leaving."

"I'll talk to her tomorrow morning. Before she goes to school."

But I didn't get the chance. Despite my plan, I was already up at six and out the door to the studio to put out a fire. Not a literal fire, but there were some tracks that hadn't copied over properly and needed to be re-recorded. The five am phone call was not the way I'd hoped to start my day.

"Bren," Sarah had said sleepily. "Do you have to go now?"

"We have to get this finished. We want it to be in post by the end of the week if we want to meet a March release date," I said.

"It can't wait until nine? What about Callie?"

"I'll be home for dinner tonight. I promise. We only have the studio until five anyway and I know Jake is supposed to be out with Kate tonight."

"I hope you're right. Because Callie misses you."

That pulled at my heart strings.

"I'll text you, but I'm going to try to get off early enough to pick her up from school," I said.

"I won't hold my breath," Sarah mumbled and turned over, going back to sleep before she'd have to get Callie up and out to school.

I got to the studio building and met Dan, Nicole and Mike in the studio we were using. We met, talked about the problem track and went over the part I hadn't been happy with. Mike had apparently also been working on it and we agreed it worked the way we'd both tweaked it. I was happy. The album was, essentially, finished. We celebrated by going out for a few drinks and some dinner. 

"Guys, I think this album is done. We did it!" I said, toasting my friends and band mates, and the guys from management who'd been working with us. "To the album, and to a summer tour!"

I raised my glass and took a long draw on my beer. 

I only had the one beer, and talked shop with Scott, my manager. We talked about tour, aesthetics and design. He'd send me some mock up ideas from marketing. I'd already sent them my ideas and we'd hammer out details while the album was mastered and prepared.

I was really happy with this album. And looking forward to taking my daughter on her first tour.

It was three am by the time I got home.

The house was dark when I opened the door. I went into the kitchen to get a glass of water before I headed upstairs.

On the breakfast bar I saw a piece of paper and a small box. Curious, I went over to see what had been left.

It was a certificate.

"Merton School Science Fair. First Place. Callie Urie. "How I Listen To Music". 

She'd done a project explaining how she used the vibrations to enjoy music.

She'd won first place.

And I had missed it.