Better Off Alone (Adopted by Brendon and Sarah Urie)

58. Sarah

We all said goodnight to Brendon, and Zack picked Callie up and carried her out to our car.

They had their own car, but Kala rode with me and Callie, who was still asleep, amazingly.

I held her in my arms and Zack buckled us in. Kala drove my car home.

When we got to the house I waited for Zack, who picked Callie up and carried her inside. It was late, but I didn't want to put her to bed in her room, so I brought her up to our room and placed her gently on the bed. She was out. Zack and Kala stayed downstairs for a while, but I just lay on the bed looking at my daughter, fast asleep, looking so trouble free and innocent. But I had to smile. Because she truly is a beautiful child.

At some point I must have fallen asleep because I was awoken by a moaning sound. I opened my eyes and saw Callie writhing and put my hand on her head.  Her eyes flew open and she looked over at me, then visibly relaxed.

"Sorry," she said.

"Don't be," I said. "Were you having a nightmare?"

Callie nodded and curled up closer.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

She shook her head 'no'.

"Okay," I smiled. "Any time you want to, I'm here."

She smiled and looked like she wanted to cuddle. So I put out my arms and she crawled into me. We lay like that for the remainder of the night and both of us slept soundly.

Which is why I was shocked to find Brendon sleeping on the couch when we woke up in the morning.

"Brendon!" I said. "What are you doing here?!"

"I got discharged. And you and Callie looked so comfortable I didn't want to disturb you. So I slept on the couch."

"You could have slept in Callie's room," I suggested.

"I could have. But we haven't cleaned it up yet," he reasoned, sitting up and grimacing as he held his stomach. I hadn't thought about the fact we'd need to clean that room and change the sheets, and whatever else needed to be done. I sighed.

"When did you get home?" I asked.

"Around ten. You and Callie were fast asleep," he smiled.

"How did you get discharged at night?"

Brendon sighed and ran his hands through his hair.

"The story is on the news and the speculation is... not great. I couldn't stay in the hospital and let you deal with anything that may come of last night's newscast. They're speculating on whether Callie is going to face charges. Someone leaked that Callie was involved."

I was stunned.

"Should we leave New York? Should we had back to L.A.?" I asked.

"I don't know yet. I'm going to make some calls a little later, when offices open in L.A. I need to call our lawyer and our publicists. But I also need to find out what is out there, news-wise. I don't want Callie finding out there are people blaming her. They don't know the whole story, and I think we might need to tell some of her story. We don't have to go into details, but we might have, we probably should, make a statement," he said. "I don't want Callie thinking we are going home as a punishment for what happened. We'll let her be a part of the decision. I don't know how she's feeling about New York now."

"She had a nightmare last night, but she didn't want to tell me what it was about," I said.

"I sent an email to one of the therapists I looked into. Based on our initial planned return. We still have a week here, but if you and Callie want to go home, I'm okay with that."

"I don't really want to. It's so nice and quiet here. But if Callie wants to go home, I'm okay with that, too," I said.

Just then, Zack and Kala came in from the beach.

"Hey. 'Morning, Sarah," Zack said.

"Good morning, guys. You hungry? I was just about to start making breakfast."

"Let me help," Kala said.

The two of us went into the kitchen and Brendon went upstairs to get some clothes to change into, and see if Callie was awake yet.

Brendon came back downstairs carefully.

"Everything okay?" I asked him.

"Yup," he said. "Callie's awake and getting dressed."

"Okay. I guess I'll get breakfast ready," I smiled.

I heard Callie coming down the stairs, and poked my head around the corner. She had her bed sheets and was crying.

"Kala, watch the stove for me?" I asked, going into the hallway to Callie.

"What's the matter?" I asked, and then wiped a tear away.

Callie shook her head, and then went into the laundry room. I followed her and watched as she put her sheets in the machine. I stopped her.

"It's ok. I have to pre-treat them. I'll do them later, ok?"

Callie looked away.

"But, it's my fault," she said.

I took Callie's shoulders in my hands and made her face me. I gently took her chin in my hand and made her look at me. Then I signed to her.

"We know what you've been through and that what you did, you didn't mean. We love you, Callie," I said and pulled her into a hug. She sobbed into me. I rubbed her back as she cried. She was so little, I picked her up and she wrapped her legs around me, too. I hugged and held her, rubbing her back. I carried her into the living room and sat with her on the couch.

Brendon came over and sat beside us and rubbed Callie's back as well. She looked over at him and he smiled at her. He signed to her.

"Callie, it's going to be okay. I'm going to be okay, and when we get back to L.A., we'll get you started with someone for you to talk to, okay?"

Callie nodded.

Zack and Kala finished making breakfast, and we asked Callie if she was okay, and if she was hungry. She said she was a little hungry, and didn't know if she was okay. I told her that was fair.

I gave Callie another hug and stood up. Brendon pulled her into a hug and kissed the top of her head. He led her to the dining room table.

Zack kept looking over at Callie as if he expected her to suddenly jump up and start stabbing everyone. Callie is very observant, seeing as she has to look at the world around her, as she can't hear it. I could see her sort of folding into herself more and more. I frowned at Zack and determined the three, maybe four, of us were going to have a discussion tonight, after Callie went to bed.