The Most Beautiful Moments In Lifeᵖᵗ¹ // OT7 BTS FF x OC

26. Bookmark

Wednesday, 25th. March. 2015

This morning on my way to class the skies were overcast with clouds and light showers. But, now and again, from out the window of the class I'd see the rain stop for a small while, the sun would shine through. Then it would begin to rain again. It continued all the way until my last class, which finished around 3pm.

The bell rang. I packed up, slung my bag over my shoulder and left. I pulled the sleeves of my azure blue jumper over my hands and balled it into small fists to keep my fingers warm as I walked home. Luckily, I'd caught a break from the rain and didn't need to take out my umbrella.

The miniature bells on my key chain jingled lightly as I grabbed them out of my bag and put them in the door. As I twisted and opened, a white envelope fell on the floor inside my apartment. Someone must have tried to tuck it in the door's crack. I picked it up curiously, shutting the door before walking over to the couch and sitting down.

What was this? As I turned it over in my hand, I saw my name neatly, cursively written on the front of it. So, I flipped it back over and carefully opened it. There was a folded note and a thicker, laminated rectangle inside... It was a bookmark.

Underneath the plastic of the laminate were three delicate, beautifully pressed flowers. One is an azure blue. Just like my jumper. The second, a lilac purple. The last, a gorgeous shade of cherry blossom pink.

It left me in a daze. Who would give me such a beautiful bookmark? I remembered that there was a note inside, so I pulled it out and unfolded it.

Jia,

It's Joonie. I know it's not much, but I thought you can never have too many bookmarks.

I hope it'll find a happy cosy home somewhere snuggled between the pages of one of your books. I want to apologise for what I did to you on the weekend.. I never meant to make you uncomfortable or hurt you. I'm so sorry if that's what I did...

I know you're going through a lot right now and I shouldn't have pushed you like that... if I'm honest, sometimes it is so hard when I'm around you. My heart is drawn to you, like an invisible force. But that is no excuse for what I did. I know that.

I just hope you find it in your heart to forgive me. We can take it as slow as you need. Whatever it is you need, tell me. And I'll do everything in my power to bring it to fruition.

I hope my forwardness doesn't have the opposite effect and push you away. But I want to be open and honest with you. I have so much respect for you, so I'm laying it all out for you.

I hope this letter finds you well, and I'll be waiting for if, and/or when you're comfortable to answer.

Yours sincerely,
Joonie

I let out a raspy breath that I'd held somewhere along the way. The strength of his sincerity wavered in my chest.

How had I ever kept my distance? How could I do that to him? It was so clear how much this had affected him, not just me. It was so cruel of me... How had I not considered his feelings like this?!

I scrunched my eyes closed and hung my head low. His letter was still loose in my hand. What am I supposed to do?

I'm caught in the crossfire of my own thoughts. The panic and nausea I'd felt in the moment contrasted with the ache and swell of my feelings for Joon...

I took a few deep breaths before standing up. For now, I was still too overwhelmed and I wouldn't be able to organise my emotions. So, instead, I packed them away.