The Most Beautiful Moments In Lifeᵖᵗ¹ // OT7 BTS FF x OC

37. Undercover

Friday Morning, 3rd. April. 2015

It was 7am.

Last night was one of the worst nights I've had in my entire life. I'd gone from passing out from intense headaches to waking up at around 4 in cold sweats and then struggling to fall back asleep. I'd been laying here for maybe an hour since, just going over visions I'd been in and out of over the course of the night.

I felt like a car had hit me. And like I hadn't showered in two days. Which I hadn't. I got up and wandered to the ensuite bathroom that was connected to my room. I hadn't noticed Koh return last night. However, seeing as there was a pile of clothes with tags still attached, among other random items, I'm guessing he dropped them off for me at some point.

The hot water rolled off my skin as I stood in the shower cubicle. It was so spacious. The steam quickly built up in the room, giving it the relaxing feeling of a steam room. I was grateful that Mr Kim and Koh had let me stay here while I tried to deal with whatever this was.

At points, it felt like I was going through withdrawals. Lucid memories came back to me. After that first one, a few more had propped up. I knew they were real because they differed from the others. They felt a distinct way. Like I'd lived it. But none of them were helpful.

I didn't know if the toughest part of it was over yet. I was barely able to deal with the headaches and memories. I hadn't even properly tried to unpack or draw any logical conclusions about this situation with the boys.

The question is whether they are a danger to me or not. Now that some time had passed, the dust had settled, and I felt like I could see it more clearly. But it still wasn't clear at all.

From the beginning, they'd latched on to me.. won over my trust and affections, treated me preciously.. made my heart swell and flutter and do backflips.

How could I have gotten it so wrong?

The memory of them standing around, Jin bringing that gun up to that girl's temple..

Red. The concrete of that floor had been painted with it. Had they tried to do that to me? Is that why they kept saying it was their fault? Is that why they never tried to help me regain my memories? Because it scared them I'd remember it all? I needed to know more. I couldn't let this pass, not now that the ball had been set into motion.. or would it keep rolling until it all snowballed and went out of control?

I put my thoughts on hold as I got out of the shower and dried myself off. I'd been in there so long that my skin was looking like a prune, and I didn't want that. As I curiously looked through the clothes Koh had left, I saw a pair of jeans and an oversized jumper. Did he know this was my ultimate comfort?

I chuckled inwardly, knowing there's no way it was more than a coincidence, and turned to rummage through the kitchen. Now that I was feeling a little more stable, the pain in my stomach was coming through. The last time I'd eaten was.. With the boys.. bbq and spicy soup that Jungkook had made.

It hurt thinking about it, so I tried not to. Instead, I wandered down the hall and towards the open space that doubles as a lounge and kitchen area. Now that I'm able to take in the apartment at my pace, I'm able to appreciate the finer details of how tasteful it is.

Modern, yet oddly homely. That the fridge is full of food makes the apartment seem more practical and liveable. Maybe it was just my assumption, but these kinds of flashy penthouses always gave me the impression they were merely for show. But I was being proven wrong.

I was surprised to find a few types of Onigiri and canned coffee.. another one of my favorite guilty pleasure foods. I slid into the seat at the dining table and peered out the window and across the sky rises and towards the roads below. It was so high up that everyone looked like ants as they strolled by their daily lives.