☄︎ ⋆·˚ ⋆ *. ⇒ 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞
𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐒 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐅𝐀𝐋𝐋
The world hasn't planned for us, the universe doesn't want us together and I think it's foolish to ignore that"
"Stars will fall before I let that ruin everything I've hoped for"
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Est...
song for this chapter leaving tonight - the neighbourhood
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ESTE WAS SITTING ON THE END OF HER HOTEL bed staring out at the sky. She willed herself to be able to cry even though she knew vampires couldn't form tears. Why did she go to that party? Avoiding regret really hadn't worked in her favour. Heartbreak was so much worse.
She'd allowed herself to get hurt by love again after years of vowing that she'd avoid it, leave it in the darkness. Este had been smart enough to know what would happen to her when she got caught up in it again. She should've seen this coming but she'd been too naive, too stupid.
"Pathetic" she muttered to herself.
Her bag was sat on her knee, she had her arms wrapped around it. Este was going to leave, she was going to go to Washington. Yet she couldn't find the energy to even stand up from the bed. She didn't have the will to do anything anymore. She just wanted to curl up and be left alone, forgotten about, never seen again.
Este was becoming a ghost, emotions flitted around inside her again. She saw them as weaknesses. She hated emotion, everything about it. Nothing good ever came from feeling, she could do better in this world if she couldn't feel at all. That's all she knew.
She'd always wanted to explore Europe. It'd been something she'd been putting off for years because in the back of her mind she knew when she completed it, there would be nothing left. No purpose, no dreams. Nothing to do, nowhere to go.
Este would probably explore the rest of the world, South America, Asia, Africa, Australia. There were so many places, it would take her a while. But it wouldn't be leading her anywhere. In the end there was nothing for her in this world. She would never find a home, she would never find a family. She couldn't be like Carlisle.
She imagined herself now, in that house on the hill. Her heart burned for it. Este saw the pain in Carlisle's eyes again and wondered what she would've seen if she told him she wanted to stay. The idea hurt her mind. She was making this so much worse for herself.
Este seemed to have a habit of screwing things up. If she hadn't gone to the party she would have left on good terms with Carlisle. He'd go back to his guilt but it would be lessened somehow. He'd fall back into his repetitive job, watching his family around him. He'd be content, maybe more than that. He seemed happy. Or he had done, until Este had told him that he'd never had her.
Something about that statement had knocked him back. As though the dance had meant as much to him as it had to her. Maybe Edward had been lying. Carlisle hadn't expected her to leave, not after that. He'd felt the connection spark again and he'd seen it in her eyes, dawning realisation.
