Marvel Women One Shots

Scars - Yelena Belova

Warnings:  talks of self harm and self harm scars and depression

Before we continue, I just want to say, this is something that I struggle with, my scars being exposed. It's hard and when I wrote this, I was having a bad day. It was just sort of a rant/vent that I turned into a one shot. I know it's depressing but writing these is like a kind of therapy for me. I'm a tiny bit nervous to post this but anyways...

If anyone has any requests, I will gladly take them :)

Unfortunately, it was just one of those days. I felt it the moment my eyes opened and I registered that I had made it through one more night of sleep. Last night wasn't one of those refreshing sleeps. Instead it was just an escape from having to pretend to be a functioning human being. It was sometimes during my waking hours that I was just chronically tired, but not the kind of tired that a simple night's sleep could fix.

I rolled over in bed and groaned. It was too early for these deep thoughts.

That's when I noticed the coldness shoot through me. I was alone. Yelena must already be up. It was always bizarre how easily she could just bounce up out of bed to start the day. I sometimes have to mentally hype myself up just to get up and perform basic human hygiene. I wasn't like that everyday, and I was grateful for that. I was just like that today.

The bedroom door creaked open and a blonde woman crept in. As she came closer to the bed, a soft smile grew on her lips. I watched her sit down next to me and she began stroking my hair.

"Morning baby. You should start getting up soon. We're leaving in about an hour." Yelena whispered.

"Leaving for what?" I asked, my voice still groggy from sleep and my memory a bit foggy.

"We're going to visit Natasha, remember?" Yelena said as a gentle reminder.

I just groaned and pulled Yelena towards me so now my head was laying in her lap. I had forgotten about Yelena wanting to go visit her sister. The two naturally made plans for us to come over to the compound and spend the day there. It had been months since the two sisters had seen each other since the whole situation with bringing down the Red Room, that I think they were looking forward to a normal interaction with the other.

"Come on baby, you need to get up." Yelena giggled at my antics as she slid out from under me and helped me sit up. "I have breakfast and coffee ready for you."

The idea of coffee is what really got me out of bed. I followed her out to the kitchen of our apartment and made a beeline to the coffee maker. I began making my cup of coffee and plopped down at the kitchen table, sighing at the satisfaction the hot drink provided. Yelena placed a plate full of eggs and sausage down in front of me and one in front of herself, also sliding into a seat. She sipped on her morning tea, which in my opinion didn't provide enough kick to start off the day. She had never been much of a coffee drinker, but had made the effort to perfect the art of making coffee because it was my favorite drink.

"So what are we doing with Nat today?" I asked before stuffing my face with breakfast.

"Well Nat mentioned that she wanted to go swimming. Apparently they have a pool at the compound." Yelena stated, seemingly excited like a child at the idea of going swimming. There were some things that got the blonde to act like an over-excited kid. Mac-n-cheese also had the same effect on her.

I just nodded at the plans for the day. I used to like swimming as a kid, but when I reached my teenage years, it kind of faded for me. It's not that I didn't like the activity itself, I just grew too self-conscious of myself to put on a swimsuit. It wasn't a weight thing. Sure I was slightly overweight, that wasn't the cause for my hesitation. It was my scars that were everywhere on my thighs and sides. They were fading, but still very visible at a close distance.