𝐓𝐨𝐱𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐭𝐲

𝑭𝒊𝒇𝒕𝒚 𝑺𝒊𝒙

𝑵𝒂𝑱𝒂𝒚𝒆 "𝑵𝒂𝒏𝒂" 𝑭𝒍𝒐𝒓𝒆𝒔

I was no fool that Jahlil went to Amelie's house that night. I heard him when he got up but I just laid there.

There wasn't anything I could say or do anyways at the end of the day I know Amelie has his heart. I mean she gave him his first son and daughter there's literally no competing with that.

Today I was going to treat myself to some nice self care while I made up my mind on whether or not I was keeping the baby.

I want my baby don't get me wrong but at the same time Jahlil made a valid point he's unstable and so am I. It would be utterly selfish of me to bring a child in this world and at any given moment I can snap. Especially since I don't have my medication under control yet.

I went to my bathroom and brushed my teeth before I got in the shower. I was going to go get my nails and feet done and maybe a massage.
—
Once I was finished with my shower I got dressed in a light pink Nike jogger set. It wasn't cold and it wasn't hot so it was the perfect weather to wear this. I finished up last minute things like putting my hair in a ponytail and making sure I had everything in my bag.

I headed to my car and began on my journey to the salon. It was only about a 25-30 minute drive from my apartment give or take the traffic or whether or not I'm feeling like a speed racer behind the wheel.

I just kept thinking about what Jahlil said to me on my way to the salon. I thought about how my brothers bond with Amelie is way stronger than his bond with me.

I thought about a lot of things. There's a lot of things that I keep bottled up because my whole life I've been labeled crazy and I mean catching that body didn't help out any either.

I made it to the salon and was seated after about fifteen minutes of waiting it wasn't too busy in here cause it's a Tuesday and they usually don't get packed until about Thursday evening.

I decided on a nice powder blue nail set and my toes of course were going to match.

I relaxed I the chair as the lady ran the water to do my pedicure. After a while she was finally done with my feet and it was time to switch to my nails during the whole pedicure I've had a sharp pain in my stomach but I didn't pay it any mind I figured it was from me eating some hot chips on the the way here.

I stood up and immediately felt woozy and then the lady that's was doing my nails began talking to me.

" I call 911."

"For what?" I was annoyed cause I'm already on parole and I know I ain't do nothing wrong.

"You're bleeding." She pointed to the seat which was slightly covered in blood.

All I could think about was my baby. I tried to call Jahlil but I collapsed before I got the chance to.
—
When I woke up I was laying in a hospital bed hooked up to all types of shit.

There was knock at the door and then came in a doctor.

"Hello Ms.Flores how are you feeling?"

"Tired and dehydrated."

"Do you remember anything at all?" She looked at her clipboard and then me.

"I was bleeding? I think... I'm pregnant." I rubbed my stomach.

"About that... Ms.Flores I'm sorry to inform you but the baby didn't make it. There's nothing you could've done that would have saved this baby."

At that moment my whole world shattered. Getting rid of a baby was different. Losing a baby is having your baby taken from you so abruptly and there's nothing you can do about it.

I was mad at myself, I was mad at Jahlil I was mad at Amelie. I was mad at everyone. The one thing in this worl that would make me truly happy. In all honesty I was going to keep my baby. I was going to leave town make it seem like I went missing or something and raise my baby somewhere else.

I guess God had other plans though.

I just laid in the bed numb to everything my brother had came to see me, Jahlil eventually came. My best friend Breanna came. There was nothing anyone could say to me to make me feel better.

I hated myself. It's my fault my baby isn't here and that's something I'm going to have to deal with for the rest of my life.
—
𝑴𝒊𝒍𝒂𝒏 "𝑮𝒉𝒐𝒔𝒕" 𝑭𝒍𝒐𝒓𝒆𝒔

Idk what's really going on anymore. My little sister called and told me she lost her baby. Kayl won't let me see my kids and I honestly don't even know what I did to her.

I come home everyday at a decent time I take her on dates I buy her things I do everything she asks me to do and out of no where she goes back to her place and takes the girls with her.

I decided to call her and try and get to the bottom of it cause she really got me fucked up and it be taking everything in me not to knock her ass out.

She answered on the first ring so I know she must still care.

"What Milan."

"Why you leave with my kids bro?"

"You really don't know what you did?" She laughed.

This heffa is crazy my momma always told me of someone laugh after they talk all them screw Aint tight up in they head.

"My nigga thought you could go fuck another girl while I'm dealing with our sick daughters and you thought that shit wasn't gone get back to me. Then out of all the bitches Milan you pick my coworker bro? That shit make me wanna quit my job so bad but then ima look like a weak bitch. I just don't understand you bro." She sound pissed.

"Kayl they lying whoever told you that shit just Trynna get under yo skin. Ion even have time to cheat I'm damn near always here unless I Gotta do a hit or make a drop and you know this. I don't want nor need the problems our friends going through to rub off on us. I love you bro I real live Wanna marry you one day I'm not that fuckin stupid to cheat on you with to coworker and if anything imma upgrade not down grade this is Boujee dick only the baddest of the bad get the Milan experience."

As much as she didn't want to she laughed. I be knowing the right things to say sometimes but in all seriousness I didn't fuck Kayl coworker she tried to flirt with me and I told her that not only Kayl but Amelie and NaJaye would beat her ass. I guess she ain't like that now she spreading lies that I smashed.

And I definitely meant what I said the shit between Amelie and Jahlil really been affecting the rest of us. We don't we'll can't really do shit as a group no more. We gotta tread lightly with the things we say and how we joke and all that. That shit is enough to make anybody snap.

But at the end of the day that's my brother and that's my sister and they eventually gone get it back on track.

Im just hoping that it's sooner rather than later.