𝑨𝒎𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒆 "𝑴𝒆𝒊𝒍𝒂" 𝑾𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒂𝒄𝒆
It's been a couple days since I've been staying with Jahlil. But now that he's getting better I don't need to be around nearly as much. Which gives me the right amount of time to plan my 18th birthday party.
"So y'all I was thinking that the theme of my party be black, white and gold." I Said looking at my momma and daddy.
"Baby I told you whatever you want you gone get." My daddy said reassuring me that my birthday would actually go my way.
"Bet." Was All I said as we kept planning.
—-
𝑱𝒂𝒉𝒍𝒊𝒍 "𝑮𝒍𝒐𝒄𝒌" 𝑬𝒅𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒅𝒔
As I sat in my car smoking a blunt with Milan and Shawn I just started thinking about my life. Like nobody really knows how fucked up I am except Milan and Shawn and that's one of the many reasons I keep them around minus them being my bruddas .
What scares me the most about me being so fucked up is that I don't want my child to have a fucked up life cause of me.
"Y'all think my baby gone be fucked up like me? I asked staring at nothing in particular.
"Nigga who pregnant?" Shawn asked.
"Briella."
"That's not my damn baby bro... but nah for real g I'm trynna trap Amelie." I shrugged.
𝑫𝒂𝒎𝒏 𝑰 𝒅𝒐 𝒔𝒉𝒓𝒖𝒈 𝒂 𝒍𝒐𝒕.
"Why you trynna take my friend out the game?" Milan asked laughing.
"Cause her ass thought she was LeBron so I gotta humble that queen and remind her that sometimes the stars get benched too." I hit the blunt before passing it to Shawn.
"Nigga you are sick. Why you wanna mess that girl life up?
"How I'm Messing her life up bro?" I ain't gone lie Shawn just pissed me off cause the fuck he mean by that.
"What I'm saying is that girl don't do nothing to nobody... and you don't got a loyal bone in yo body... why put that poor girl through all the stress for you to just turn around and fuck the next thing walking."
"Cause living through the rest of the day ain't promised and tomorrow damn sure ain't promised especially living the life I live so I gotta plant my seeds while I can." I shrugged.
"I'm with you when you right." Was All Milan said while pointing at me.
——
Once we finished up smoking and they left I just went in my house and laid across my bed.
I ain't gone lie what Shawn said had me thinking. Like she really don't do shit to nobody and I know personally that I'm a nothing ass nigga but with her it's like I wanna try. I actually see a different life when I look in her eyes.
Probably cause she see so much of the "good" in me that I don't see in myself.
- [ ] I decided that it was time that I go visit someone I hadn't seen or talked to in a long time. Someone that I knew always had the answer to all my problems.
—-
"Hey ma... I'm in a bit of a situation like always." I began tearing up.
"I met this girl that I think I Love but I'm no good for her. The only way I feel that I can keep her is for her to have my baby. I know it sounds selfish but mama." By this time I don't care who seen me .
A nigga was hurting.
"Mama she reminds me so much of you. She got a pure soul and a genuine heart just like you. I wish You was here to guide me... to tell me what to do. To show me well teach me how to love one more time."
"I don't wanna lose her like I lost you. I still haven't healed from that and I don't know if I ever will. And I'm probably chasing the idea of a baby to feel that empty hole in my heart. Imma let you go tho I know you don't approve of the way I'm living but I'm trying. I love you and miss you so much...I'll see you soon." I kissed my fingers and then placed them on her tombstone.
I dusted myself off and headed back towards my car.
Once I got in I FaceTimed Amelie.
"Heeey Lilyyy pooh." She smiled as soon as it connected.
𝑰 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒍𝒊𝒍 𝒈𝒊𝒓𝒍 𝒃𝒓𝒖𝒉
"Don't call me that geechie ass name again bro." I mugged her.
"You been crying ... what's wrong? Her face softened as if she was about to cry.
"Nothing."
"Don't lie to me Jahlil... let me be there for you." She gave me a weak smile.
I just couldn't open up to her I don't know why but opening up to her woulda made me feel like a bitch.
"I'm cool baby... you ate?" I asked licking my lips.
"Yea... you?"
"Nah I'm bout to I'll call you when I get in."
"Okay be safe." She blew me a kiss before she hung up.
I headed over to Wendy's to get me something to eat. I decided to go in cause every time I go through the drive through they fuck my order up.
As I was ordering my food I peeped this girl that kept looking at me so I decided to be the one to say something first.
"What?" I huffed.
"My fault it's just that you're so handsome and then you're eyes are just amazing." She replied while blushing.
"Preciate it."
"Can I get yo number or something?"
"Nah find me again yo self if you really interested." I whispered in her ear since I had to go pass her to the exit.
𝑩𝒊𝒕𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒔 𝒃𝒆 𝒃𝒐𝒏𝒌𝒆𝒓𝒔! 𝑳𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒍𝒊𝒍 𝒎𝒂𝒎𝒂 𝒘𝒔 𝒄𝒋𝒕𝒆 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒂𝒊𝒏𝒕 𝒎𝒚 𝒃𝒂𝒃𝒚.
—-
𝗜 𝗮𝗶𝗻𝘁 𝗴𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗹𝗶𝗲 𝗜 𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗱 𝘂𝗽 𝗮 𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗹𝗲 𝘄𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗰𝗲𝗻𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝗵𝗶𝗺 𝗻𝘀 𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗺𝗼𝗺🥺𝗣𝗼𝗼𝗿 𝗯𝗮𝗯𝘆💔
