How To Be The Best Third Wheel

Introduction

On the front page of any great research paper are key words that should be well understood before diving into the subject matter. This can hardly be described as a research paper. However, my life, the life of Lara Dela Cruz, is as great as any scholarly article that has drained blood, sweat, and tears from its authors, so it deserves some key words as well . . .

Third Wheeling—an unfortunate state in which a person tags along with a couple. This may result in feeling left out and uncomfortable, especially when the couple decides to have a full-out make-out session in your face.

Third Wheel—me. (And literally everyone on planet Earth at some point or another.)

Relationship Expert—also me.

I'll humbly let you know that I know what I'm doing. Romantic comedies? I can recite their scripts in my sleep. Books? Those are character ships with extra words. K-dramas? Saranghaeyo to all the leads who almost kiss the protagonist in episode ten—obviously in the rain—and who give them a piggyback ride sometime during the first season.

Single—unfortunately also me. Alternatively, a state in which awesome people with truly excellent advice are left alone because "coaches don't play," and totally not because the last demon I summoned did not help me land a relationship. I'm obviously joking. Maybe.

So, to all the single third-wheel relationship experts out there (and anyone else who has picked up this monstrosity), I'm more than pleased to present to you the official handbook to being the best third wheel.