How To Be The Best Third Wheel

Original Edition - Tip 27: Quit the Denial

Maybe this is the time where I should admit to myself that I don't hate James.

Nor do I dislike him.

See, that part scares the shizballs out of me to the point where I feel like someone just punched me in the gut and I'm about to violently vomit. Sadly, reality has given me the right hook.

For the whole day today, not once did I have a full conversation with him. I mean, a real one. I lay in my bed, not even a little sleep trying to overcome me. All I can think about is how weird he was today.

~~~
Biology class, School-Today

"Hey, I didn't see you this morning." I start, trying hard to start a conversation with him. It feels like I'm trying too hard.

He seems dazed, thinking about something else. "Sorry, um, what did you say?"

"Oh, um, I was just wondering where you were this morning. I sent you a text but I guess you didn't get it." I give a little laugh, trying to hide my disappointment.

"Yeah...I guess I didn't get it." he replies, but says no more.

Yeah, because you were too busy making out with that girl to even check your stupid phone.

"Yo, I was thinking that maybe before our tutoring session today, we could stop by the new pizza place across the street? I heard it's really good and-"

He cuts me off. "About the tutoring, you don't have to do it anymore. I'm getting pretty okay with the curriculum now so...I don't want to waste your time."

I give him another forced laugh. "You're joking, right? We're only more than 2 weeks in. The hard stuff hasn't even come yet!"

He gives me another forced smile. I hate it when he does that. "Don't worry, if I really have trouble, I'll just ask mum to hire a professional tutor."

I nod and attempt to conceal the sadness that fills my chest.

"So, um, are you free this weekend? I was hoping that you could help me bake some cookies for a charity fundraiser, since I know you're great at baking." I ask.

"Uh...this weekend? Sure, I guess." he agrees, not looking too excited.

"Thanks."

The bell rings and I don't push the conversation any further. Clearly, he isn't going to interact with me today and I'm not going to force him to.

~~~

You'd think that I'd completely lost my marbles if I said that I'd fallen for a guy in only 2 weeks. Well, I'm not saying that. It's really not that realistic for me to develop feelings like this in such a short period of time.

Anything that I'm feeling is probably a mere infatuation. You know, stupid hormones and stuff.

At least, that's what I'm telling myself.

I do believe that it is impossible for me to feel this way about him after just 2 weeks! But then again, I have such a great belief for feelings coming back, for crushes coming back.