How To Be The Best Third Wheel

Original Edition - Tip 14: Revenge MUST be Creative

It's time.

You're all here for advice aren't you? Because you're all-or have been-in the same position as me. If I must give you the fifteenth tip, you must have a great plan for revenge on your friends. Creativity is always the key.

Grab your cats, sit in a chair and do your evil laugh as you spin around 'cause it's about to get real.

Much realer than reality T.V. so don't worry.

*Cue the mic-drop*

***

"What are we going to do again?" James asks me. I facepalm.

Oh my goodness! I literally just explained the plan in full detail. I could submit it as an english essay! I swear, I'm going to have to repeat this a gazillion times to him!

I explain the plan once more to him, slower this time so that he'll understand it clearly.

"Oh okay. That's great! Not too hard but it'll have a great effect. Very subtle." he responds.

The plan was simple, almost boring really. We're going to walk up to the café and sit down on the patio. Easy. The thing is, we're going to make sure that the couple notices us but then pretend that we don't even know they're there.

Not too creative, I know.

But the creativity comes in what we will do to make them notice us.

When you're a third wheel, you always feel incredibly uncomfortable. So this plan should surely make Daniel almost pee his pants. I mean, how would you feel if the person you lied to was about to catch your lie?

"Ready to execute plan A?" I look up at James.

"Let's do this." he states confidently.

We cross the street to the café. The place is quite busy, waiters scrambling to serve everybody. We take a seat at a table near the couple. Near enough so that we can hear their conversation and that they can probably be able to hear ours. Kiera laughs at a joke that Daniel tells.

A waitress approaches us with a menu. "May I take your order?"

We have to play it off as though we planned to eat here.

"Sure. I'll have a piece of blueberry cheesecake and a water." James says, handing the menu back.

"That sounds good. Make that two." I hand the menu back, smiling.

"Great choice! It'll be here in about 5 minutes." she tells us before heading into the building.

A few seconds after she leaves, James leans in to whisper something to me. "I know that you're going to insist that you pay for your share, but I'm going to tell you right now that I am paying, okay?"

"James it's fine. I can pay for my share-" I argue but James cuts me off.

"See? I predicted that. Besides, don't think I'm being nice to you, even though I am really. I'm only doing this because, uh, my mom will scold me for being not-gentlemanly." he lies.

Sure he's the exact opposite of a nice guy, but he can be a goodie sometimes. Only sometimes.

"Sure, totally." I reply sarcastically. "Shall we begin phase 1?"

"Let's do this." He answers.

I shoot a quick glance at the couple who hasn't noticed us yet. It's time to start our very dramatic conversation. It is sure to get them to look at us.

"Lara, I need to tell you something." James begins, talking in his normal voice, making sure that it is audible to Daniel and Kiera.

"What is it James?" At that moment, Daniel's head shoots up and looks in our direction. I can see his shocked expression in my peripheral vision. I pretend not to see them.