How To Be The Best Third Wheel

Original Edition - Tip 22: Re-unite the Hormonal Teenagers

Did you know it takes 5 seconds for the average human to break down after seeing their partner after thinking that they cheated on them?

No?

Well, it does. Apparently it does. You probably wouldn't have known that because you've never tested it on average humans. Don't pretend that you haven't thought about locking two people up in a room to see their reaction! You probably wanted to do it but our world has these things called "laws" and "jail".

"No. I am not talking about this. Not here. Not now." Mark states, gritting his teeth. James is holding him in an effort to not let him escape. Sorry Mark, you may be strong, but James is bigger and stronger.

"Sorry buddy, but I have to do this." James tells him.

"Do wha-" Mark starts but James forcefully pushes Mark into the classroom, causing him to land chest first on the floor and I rush to lock the door.

This is great because Carol's already in there as well! I texted her to meet me in the classroom. Like the not curious person she is, she didn't ask nor hesitate at my weird request. So, she's in there. I'm expecting shouts of anguish in 5-4-3-2-

"You! What are you doing here!" they bellow at each other. Ah, young love, so expressive. I can tell that was what they were saying because I'm an excellent lip-reader.

I look up at James, "How long do you think it'll take for them to make-up, or make out for that matter." I gag at the thought.

He tilts his head a few times. "I predict, 15 minutes. Tops."

"15? After Mark ignored her and I for days? It's probably going to take more than 45 minutes. Plus, they won't talk to each other for, maybe, the first 20 minutes." I state, putting a hand on my hip.

He raises an eyebrow. "Really? Are you sure?"

"Yeah, actually I am." I cross my arms and give him a look that comes across as challenging him.

"You want to bet on that, De la Cruz?" he looks down and inches his arrogant, little face to mine.

"Why not? I'm going to win anyways. How much do you want to bet? Ten bucks if I'm right." I joke, chuckling.

"Sure." he agrees seriously, although I was just joking about the ten bucks. "And if I win?" he poses with a smug look on his face.

"If you win, then you get the ten bucks." I tell him, simply, but the look in his eyes makes me think that he doesn't want the ten bucks.

"I don't want ten bucks. I want-" he starts to say but I interrupt him before he can say anything else.

I start blabbering, triggered by the fact that he doesn't want ten bucks. "I knew you were weird. You don't want ten bucks? You could buy a lunch for that price! You could buy a combo at Burger King! You could buy nine, 99 cent small Frosty's at Wendy's! You could buy a figget spinner! You could-"

"I don't want any of those." he rolls his eyes at me.

"Then what do you freaking want, you idiot?" I wonder out loud.

"If I win the bet, you have to-" he cuts himself off with an evil grin, turning into an evil smirk, turning into an evil laugh. I can see it now, Jameson Bryer as the Joker in the next Batman movie!

I tap my foot impatiently and glance at my non-existent watch. "I have to? What? Go on a date with you?" I tease, as if he would actually say that.

He stutters, "Ew. N-no. O-o-of course not. Give me a second to clean out my ears from that statement of yours."