The Rush

Chapter 13

Most girls with dead-beat dads end up searching for validation from older men. Daddy kinks are popular for a reason. I understood why they felt that way. When you don't get love from the one man who is supposed to love you unconditionally, you need to fill that void somehow. I was lucky that Reid stepped in to fill that void of a father in my life, to become the dad I never had. I never had a desire to explore those kinds of kinks. My issues with my dead-beat bio-father left me a whole other kind of complex.

Up until the age of six, the sperm donor did everything he could to make my mom's life a living hell. I knew his visitations weren't so he could spend time with me. I just had to watch helplessly as he knocked my mom's confidence, bragged about his conquests, and antagonized her at every opportunity. I began to try to defend her, I would make visitations horrible for him whenever I could. Loudly complaining, being picky about food, bragging about Reid when he came around, and just being as sassy as humanly possible. My grandma was always teaching me new ways to be a pain in his ass when she would watch me. I will always love her for that.

The sperm donor created pure chaos in my life. I had no control over anything. I had to go to visitations or my mom would get in trouble. I still remember sitting on my living room floor with Reid, Mamma, and Will as Mamma told me that the sperm donor was filing for full custody. I remember a year of being dragged to therapists. I remember having to sit outside the courtroom as the adults decided if I was going to live with a man I didn't know. I remember when I was seventeen when Mamma and Reid had to sit me down and tell me that the sperm donor was getting out of jail. They told me how when Mamma was seventeen, just like I was, the sperm donor had coerced her, groomed her, into being with him. That he'd done it to several other women as well. That revelation fucked me up. My world was completely out of control, and I didn't know how to fix it.

So, I found myself wanting to control everything. It got out of hand in many ways, especially as a teenager. I fucked up a few friendships and relationships until I found the BDSM community in college. Most of it wasn't really for me, I was more into the dynamic between dominants and their submissives. It gave me a safe environment to deal with my control issues, plus it was a hell of a lot of fun. It's also kept my control issues out of my friendships and I could focus my control in the bedroom instead of taking over every aspect of my relationships. Plus, therapy helped me identify my issues, but that's not important right now.

What's important, is that my control issues have somehow landed me with an international rock star on my lap begging to be controlled and fucked by me. The power trip was almost as good as a performing high. I moved my hand from caressing her cheek to her ponytail pulling gently. Her moan as her eyes fluttered close went straight to my center. Her slightly parted pillowy lips were too irresistible to ignore any longer. I pulled her down and crashed her lips to mine.

Her kisses were slightly clumsy, but I didn't care. I took the lead. I moved my lips punishingly over hers drawing whimpers from her. I felt her tongue run over my lip but I denied her. I chose when the kiss would be deepened. I was in control.

I felt her tongue run over my lip again and I pulled her back by her ponytail. She let out a cry as she looked at me with wide eyes. I grinned. "You'll take what I give you Lenora. Do you understand?"

Her head bobbed up and down in agreement. I only had to raise my eyebrow for the words to come spilling out of her lips. "I understand."

I leaned in and placed an open-mouth kiss on her neck. I felt her entire body shudder on top of me. I loved that I was doing this to her. My sexy little rock star was absolute putty in my hands. I let my lips explore her neck. Her needy pants filled the room. Once she was trembling in my arms, I brought her lips back down to mine. I wasn't teasing this time either. The second my tongue hit hers she moaned. Her hips grinded into mine. I brought my hands down to her waist and started pushing up her tank top. In seconds it was flying behind us. My shirt followed after.