The Rush

Chapter 19

I ordered an Uber before we left the bathroom. I pretended to help Elenore into the front hall and sat her on the little bench they had there. She put on her shoes as I made my way back into the party. I found Will and gestured with a nod for him to come talk to me. I was glad that he and I could understand each other with a look. I just wished I didn't have to lie to him about this shit. I could use his help with all of this shit that Elenore keeps putting on my plate.

"What's wrong?" He asked as we stepped into the kitchen.

"It's Lenora. I found her puking in the bathroom and I want to make sure she gets home safe. I'm sorry to bail, but I just don't want to put a drunk girl alone in an Uber."

"I totally understand. Go, take care of her but you're coming over again soon. I feel like we've barely hung out tonight. Well, we haven't really hung out just the two of us since you found out about Hillary."

If that wasn't a fucking sucker punch to my guilt-riddled stomach, I don't know what else could be. I had been spending so much time on my relationship with Elenore that I hadn't put in enough time with any of my friends. I feel like shit. Especially since our relationship felt doomed after tonight. "I'm sorry. I'm going to make time for us soon. I promise."

"Don't apologize. It's not your fault, we've both been busy. We'll work something out soon." Will wrapped me up in such a warm hug that it brought tears to my eyes. We'd been practically joined at the hip ever since we met and I've been neglecting our relationship. He was my best friend and practically my twin. I need to deal with this shit with Elenore because I need to be able to have a fucking conversation with him.

We said our goodbyes before I went to the front hall. I didn't have the emotional ability to say goodbye to everyone right now. I sat silently beside Elenore as I got my shoes on. As soon as I finished, my phone went off to let me know the car was outside. Elenore had put on her hat and glasses to disguise her identity before we left the house. We got in the car and neither of us said a word. Thankfully our driver picked up on the tension in the car and kept quiet. I could feel Elenore looking over at me, but I couldn't bring myself to do the same. I had too many emotions swirling inside me that wanted to escape to look at her. Guilt, rage, anger, betrayal, confusion, fear, dread, and loss were all there and I didn't know which ones were going to rise to the surface.

We pulled up in front of Elenore's and I gave our driver a quick thank you before I got out. I gave him a good tip just because he read us so well. It also gave me an excuse for silently following Elenore up to her house. As soon as the door shut behind us she turned back to me in anger. "What the fuck was that, Melody?! It was just a bit of coke! You're high as a fucking kite right now and don't deny it! You reek of weed and your eyes are bloodshot. How can you get mad at me for doing drugs when you're doing them yourself?"

"Weed and coke are not even in the same ballparks! For one, weed is fucking legal here so I'm not breaking the law. It is federally regulated so I know it is not being cut with rat poison or fentanyl or God knows whatever the hell other substance coke gets cut with. Not to mention that even if you did get your hands on pure coke, you're supporting cartels, gangs, and so many other criminal enterprises. Then let us not forget that people don't OD off of weed!"

She sighed and started walking down the hall from me, "I'm not talking to you if you keep yelling at me."

I stood there for a second in shock. I shook it off and followed her into the house. "You yelled at me first?"

"Well, you're the one who is blowing this way out of proportion."

"No, I'm not. Do you understand that if a cop found that much coke on you that you would have been arrested? You'd go to jail. The fucking press would definitely get word of your arrest. Wouldn't that sully your image, Elenore? Being arrested for possession of an illegal substance? Not to mention that you're not Canadian and would definitely be deported. No more Canadian legs of your tours then. How are the fans going to react to that?"

"It's fucking Canada. No one fucking lives here and I only ever do concerts in Vancouver and Toronto. I think I maybe did one festival, but it's not going to ruin my career to get kicked out of Canada!"

"So, you value coke more than me then?" I could see the confusion on her face as she clearly didn't get what I meant. "You're fine with people finding out you do coke, but you're petrified of people finding out you're with me. You're here justifying why being arrested on drug charges and deported from my home, my fucking country, wouldn't ruin your career. Yet since the day we met you've made me hide the fact that I was fucking falling for you from everyone I love because of your fucking career!"

"You don't understand!"

"No, I fucking don't." Tears were pouring from my eyes, unable to be held back any longer, "My aunt has been out the entirety of her career, is married to a fucking woman, and still is one of the biggest musicians in the country. The list of musicians, actors, fuck even reality tv stars who are out and proud is so fucking long so no, I don't understand. Will you lose some fans? Sure. Will you gain new ones? Definitely. So please, tell me what the real problem is because right now all I see are excuses that I can not understand."

We stood there, staring at each other in a silence that seemed to stretch for eternity. With every second that passed, I felt like daggers were being driven into my heart. Just when I was about to break, about to leave and never come back, Elenore's voice quietly hit my ears. "I-I have no support if my career fails. No one. My parents died penniless when I was ten. No one in my family would take me in, so I went into foster care. I-I was in a good home for a bit, a couple who thought they couldn't have their own children so they would foster kids, but then they found out that they were pregnant they sent me back. I was basically shipped from abusive home to abusive home until I finally ran away when I was sixteen."

"After that, I lived on the streets. I stole to stay alive and eventually started busking with a guitar I found in a dumpster. That's how I was discovered. Homeless and terrified. I took the first offer I got which turned out to be almost a slave contract. I make next to nothing unless my song goes platinum, so yeah, I fucking sold out. I depend on staying in the mainstream to stay alive, which coming out could jeopardize. You can risk coming out, doing what you want to do with your music. Your family is fucking loaded! How can you ever understand what it's like to be in my shoes? I am between a rock and a fucking hard place here. Do you think I don't want to tell people that I love you? I want to so fucking bad but I am so scared of ending up back on the streets."

My heart broke for her. I never imagined that was the kind of life she'd led. Yeah, she'd be fucking scared. I would be too. She was in an impossible situation. "Lenny-"

"I thought you said no pet names." She interrupted as she wiped the tears from her cheeks. I never wanted to see those tears again.

I crossed the room and crushed her into my chest in a hug. I held her close and pressed my lips to the top of her head. "I'm sorry. I was only thinking about myself and my feelings. I didn't even think you would have so many reasons not to come out. You come out when you're ready and I will be right by your side. Just, please, give up the coke. It is not worth it and it will be way harder for me to explain why I'm always flying out to California."

She chuckled and squeezed me harder, "I promise. I wasn't thinking, it won't happen again."

I held her there as I thought over what she'd said when suddenly it hit me what she'd said. "Wait, you said you love me?"

She pulled away and looked up at me. Her eyes and face were still glistening with tears, but the smile on her face was full of love. "Yeah, I did. I do. I love you, Melody."

That little piece of confirmation that she felt the same way I did was just what I needed to hear, "I love you too Lenny."

*****

Author's note:

Hey all! Thank you so much for all the love and support you've given me. For those who don't follow me, I had a health scare a few weeks ago which really made it difficult to write and edit.  I am on the other side now but I had to play catch up in school this last week or so. I finish my undergrad degee this month so it was important I focused on that. With that being said, updates are back every three days for now. Please don't forget to vote, comment, and all that good stuff as it really helps me out.

Sending you all some love,

EJ Cornish 💜