... And Other Ships

JinMin: Shower Thoughts

The water wasn't too hot, but it wasn't too cold, either. It flowed in a constant stream, caressing Seokjin's body; it slithered down his back and over his shoulders, wrapping around the rest of his body only to flow into the drain at the end of the tub basin. The water wasn't distracting; if anything, it was a medium for Seokjin to let out his inner demons. 

He didn't remember getting undressed and stepping into the shower, let alone how long he'd been in there. It was just him, the tile wall, the closed shower door, and the lukewarm water. 

And his destructive thoughts. 

What if I change to a bath instead? What if I drown?

Would I suffer? Would it be better than this?

I've suffered enough. I don't want to do it anymore. 

The thoughts circled around his mind, more and more adding on with every rapid revolution. 

Am I a good enough person for my friends? Does my family still love me? Am I a good son, brother, friend?

Am I truly loved, or is it all a show to appease me?

Am I deserving of love? Am I even capable of love anymore?

The carousel of thoughts was spinning much faster, the music changing into sinister crunched chords that seemed to belong to the soundtrack of The Conjuring series. The thoughts in his head seemed to be laughing at him, mocking him and inflicting more pain upon him. 

It hurts. Why does it hurt so bad? What did I do to deserve this pain? 

I don't wanna hurt anymore.

A pair of arms wrapped around Seokjin's waist, but he made no indication that he was aware of this. He thought he locked the bathroom door. When did the shower door open? How did he not feel the draft? 

He remained rigid, his empty gaze trained on the wall. 

The arms slid up his sides and around his big shoulders; their owner's head rested on his back, dry hair beginning to get wet from the water. Whoever this was had breached the protective layer of water encasing Seokjin. 

Small, gentle hands rubbed his chest and collar bones, and it seemed to pull Seokjin back into reality just a little bit; he leaned back into this person's chest slightly. 

"Hyung."

Jimin. 

Sweet baby Jiminie had come to comfort Seokjin. 

He believed that he and Jimin weren't too close; he and Taehyung spent all their time together and seemed to speak the same language. Wherever Taehyung was, Jimin was. They did everything together since their high school days, when Taehyung stood up for Jimin when he was bullied. They were soulmates, that was for certain. 

When Jimin wasn't with Taehyung, he was with Jungkook. They went out constantly, became each other's "tattoo buddies," and seemed to throw heart-eyes at one another whenever they had the chance. Jungkook liked carrying Jimin around and cuddling him; they both would giggle like crazy. 

What even is Seokjin to Jimin? 

Jimin liked going out; Seokjin liked staying inside. 

Jimin made friends easily; Seokjin did not. 

They rarely spent time with one another and when they did, they rarely spoke. They were polar opposites, so why was Jimin here with him now? 

"I don't understand, but I will always be here for you."