... And Other Ships

TaeJin: Blue and Grey

Taehyung knew what was going on with his older boyfriend; it was so obvious, yet so difficult to confront him about. He knew Seokjin was trying his best to hide his true feelings, trying to fake the happy for Taehyung's sake, but his eyes spilled all of his secrets.

Very few words were spoken between the couple for a good few months. Taehyung tried every chance he got to coax a conversation out of Seokjin, no matter how tiny it was.

"Good morning, hyungie!"

"Hey, Tae. Did you sleep alright?"

"Yeah, a little bit. What about you; are you sleeping well?"

"Mh."

The answer was never definite, but Taehyung knew that Seokjin hadn't been sleeping well. He would wake up when the bed shifted, opening his eyes to find Seokjin sitting by the window. The moonlight reflected blue against Seokjin's face, a blue so pale it was almost grey.

And the tears flowing down his face made the ethereal sight dim, a heavy weight settling on Taehyung's chest the longer he watched his boyfriend. That weight never left; with every day that passes, the weight gets heavier and heavier on Taehyung's chest.

And if it was cracking Taehyung's ribs, it must be suffocating Seokjin.

"Seokjin-hyung, you know I love you, don't you?"

"I love you too, Taehyung. I love you so much."

Taehyung was at a crossroads.

He knew Seokjin loved him; they wouldn't be dating for so long nor living together if it was just a one-sided relationship. Hell, it was Seokjin's idea to move into an apartment together. Lately though, the tone in his voice whenever Seokjin said that he loved him made Taehyung think differently.

Whatever war was waging inside the older man's head, the blue-grey sheen draped over him, blocked out all of Taehyung's love, all of his concern and support, forcing Seokjin to believe he had to deal with everything alone. Seokjin was in much more pain than he let on, and there was absolutely nothing Taehyung could do about it.

That was what tore the younger man to shreds: he had no way to ease his love's pain, no way to make it better. All he could do was watch helplessly.

-------

"Oh, don't cry, Taehyungie."

Jimin wiped away the tears that seemed to never end with his sweater sleeve, a sympathetic smile on his face. He invited Taehyung over for dinner in hopes to let him talk about everything from his point of view, but ended up causing a mental breakdown instead.

Taehyung shook his head and took a stuttering breath in, a whine escaping with the exhale. "I j-just don't know what t-to do, Jimin. I want to h-help him so badly! He won't let m-me in."

"Maybe he doesn't know how to tell you what's wrong," Jimin muttered, pulling his friend's head into his chest, petting the back of his head. "Maybe he hasn't figured out exactly what he's feeling, or that he doesn't know how to ask for help. That was Yoongi-hyung's case for a long time, and yours as well. You know that."

Taehyung sniffled and nodded, closing his eyes. He listened to Jimin's heartbeat, finding it soothing in his moment of distress. Jimin definitely had a point; Taehyung never knew what to say during his depressive episodes.

"All you can do is go home to Seokjin-hyung, wrap him up in your arms, and let him know he's not alone. No matter what his brain says, he isn't alone. He has you, and he needs to know that."

"O-okay." Taehyung sat back up straight, giving Jimin his most genuine smile. "Thank you, Jiminie. Yoongi-hyung couldn't have a better husband, really."