Rhythm of Heartbreak (COMPLETED)

Chapter 34

After the incident Jess would just stare blankly no matter what was happening in the room, she woke up and worked, and all she did was keep breathing. It wasn't so much of a cold stare, but a vacant one. It was like she'd passed on, but her body hadn't realized. The next few days turned into a massive scandal from left to right, she was accused of what Bennie and Alexander predicted, they called her names, but they had a common theme. A conniving schemer, blinded by reasons of personal vendetta, avenging her father against Rick. She became a sensation overnight. It exploded on all different levels.

The image they painted of her was beyond her imagination, some were her sympathizers, but the majority were all hatred. Her mind was clouded not because of the noises from the malicious gossip but more of the pain she was bearing on what transpired in the villa with Rick.

She received multiple death threats and nonstop trolling on social media, but even though her career turned into a circus, her heartache was even more unbearable. Behind her icy stare was a mountain of pain yet extracting it would bring scar and instability. Either it would be born and her soul reborn, or she would lash out and it would be forever over. She repeated the words "Come what may" over and over and even that didn't bring assurance to her bleak soul.

She heard a knock on her door and Jess went in and opened it. She knows that it could be an imminent danger and that she needs to be more cautious, but she just doesn't care anymore.

"Jessie..." Shaun's face prompted and he embraced her tightly. He looks at her.

Jess's eyes convey, hurt and buried, vulnerable and raw, she's slowly losing it he can tell.

Guilt was written all over Shaun's face. He did this to her, he was the sole culprit, because of his selfishness and narrowed sight he made her go through this hell. He paved the way to let them attack Jess in all different directions. Guilt has been like a heavy bag that he can't seem to put down, because of his greed someone innocent is suffering. Jess is the one suffering.

"Oh hey..." she tried to smile that didn't reach her eyes.

"When was the last time you have eaten?" Shaun asked as he touched her warmly.

"Shaun..." she burst into tears unable to contain it anymore. The furnace of her pain can't be extinguished yet. She wanted to erase all of Rick's memories from her mind, she wanted to attain her old self again, when all these seemed distant.

She felt Shaun's arms wrapped around her again whispering words of comfort. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry Jess" he repeated the words over and over.

Her cry of desperation keeps slicing deeper and deeper into Shaun's heart, how he wishes healing could be summoned through magic. They say pain is there as part of the education of how to recover, so as challenging as it is, listening to what it has to say is necessary but being the sinner that led Jess into this mess is a whole different thing.

"I am such a sour loser" she uttered laughing at her own expense.

Jess wishes that she could console herself. She knows that emotional pain has a biological purpose, to teach her, to educate her the unhealthy patterns and relationships. She has been pushing back against pain for so long, unsettled emotions on her mother, with Shaun and trying to medicate with friendship and music, and now with a new romantic notion with Rick, yet when she's breaking and returns in her weaker moments, devastating her mind, she's unable to cope. To keep repeating this pattern will only prolong it, she needs to face this head-on and not stray away. But how would she start doing it?

Her mind was frenzied when Shaun kissed her, at that moment Jess felt that she was in a protective cocoon, it was making her feel safe. His lip in their casual sweet way conveys that it's going to be alright. Jess realized that Shaun's mouth was heaven to touch, to kiss, yet she longed for someone else, the sound of Rick's voice whispering words of praise, resonated in her. His dark hazel eyes connected to her soul. His laughter elevates her gloom to greatness. It's no use. Rick is haunting her night and day.