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[ chapter 20 ]

april 24, 2022
10:00 a.m
manhattan, new york

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ariana's pov:

   THE morning after consisted of a raging headache and a pit in my stomach; filled to the brim with regret.

Along with that sinking feeling, came an overwhelming sense of loneliness. Ethan wasn't there when I woke up, of course, I assumed that's how it'd be. What really got me, was the lack of text messages or phone calls from Y/n.

I drank a lot yesterday.

After seeing those pictures and videos of Y/n and Alexa having the time of their fucking lives, I kind of slummed out. I grabbed my 2 closest bottles and dialed Ethan's number. He came over, we hung out, drank, took some of our own pictures/videos and ended the night in my bed.

Was it a good distraction? Sure. Was it the right idea? Hell no.

But I was full of bad ideas. I think the whole world knows this.

   Ethan must've left in the middle of the night. Regardless of the time, I didn't really care. The whole night, I still managed to only think about her. The second I woke up, she was the first thing on my mind.

why does she have this hold on me?

   The whole situation was so atypical. We met doing a Givenchy photoshoot and now I can't get her out of my fucking head. We've been talking non stop ever since, she's helped me through tough times. It's only been like a month at most. I was already crazy over her.

when will this madness end?

   Honestly, I couldn't tell if she was worth it or not. She seemed pretty content with her girl friends. Did I really need to add myself to the equation?

   But, she did do all the fairy lights, date nights, and surprises for me. Clearly I wasn't the only one feeling this way, right?

right?

   I can't just sit here and overthink anymore. I needed to get out of bed, I needed to figure out what I should do next; and I needed to call my manager. Because I know PR is at a loss right now.

~~~~~

   The phone call with my team took a whole hour. I had to explain what was going on, who he was, and then we had to discuss the next move. I had already deleted the videos and pictures off my story. They told me to just leave it alone and hopefully everyone will forget.

   I know they won't, though.

   Plus, the y/s/n (with maddy) shippers were taking over the internet; and it completely put my scandal under the ground. That was bittersweet.

   Now that my career was out of the way, I needed to figure out how to approach Y/n. I tried to think of the way she might feel about all this and what she might need at this moment.

  However, I'd never seen her distraught or upset before; so I didn't really know how she reacts to things. I do know she's a pretty mature person, but that's about it when it comes to this.

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