Swallow

Chapter 1.83:

A dark farmhouse loomed up around a sharp bend.

The place was tough to find in the pitch-black night and there were no streetlights to help guide my way. In addition, my cell service was cutting in and out the longer I drove, so my GPS was helpless with providing me with any sort of directions.

There was only one house that I found on the secluded road, which I hoped meant that I had found the right place.

It was completely still on the inside and fucking creepy.

I shouldn't even have bothered coming out tonight. 

JD invited me to some end-of-summer bonfire thing the guys threw every year.  He said it was a tradition I shouldn't miss—even if Aiden made faces at me behind his back, informing me I wasn't welcome. 

I wasn't feeling up to going at first and made up an excuse about working until close—I had missed over half my shifts since I found out Riley was pregnant and wasn't planning on working the one tonight either.

JD called me again a few hours ago, begging me to come hang out after I got off. He mentioned that Mark had cleared out a liquor store and there was more than enough to keep us all drunk for months. He gave me the address of the place in case I changed my mind. 

I decided to go in the end after the drumming in my head refused to stop. I was desperate for a release from the debilitating anguish crushing me.

I needed this. I forgot what it was like to feel normal.

It had been over three weeks since I saw Riley last. She never returned any of the calls or messages I left her. The girl's legendary stubbornness was sucking the life out of me. 

It wasn't like we didn't have things we needed to figure out.  She had my baby growing inside her and refused to talk to me about anything. She could have at least called me to tell me how she was doing. It wouldn't change how I felt about her decision to keep the pregnancy, but I was still worried about her. One little message saying even just the word 'hello' would have gone a long way to bringing me back down.

Something needed to lessen the unease soon. Instead, it just grew and grew, festering like a pus-filled infection in an open wound.

I needed to catch my breath before it killed me--just one more fucking breath without feeling like I was suffocating.

I didn't know what I should be doing with myself. There was nothing else I could even really do other than wait her out and see what would happen.

Every room in the band house had a newly worn path from my constant, nervous pacing. I felt caged and restless, like a wild beast trapped behind the glass at a zoo. The only places I didn't wander around aimlessly were behind locked doors, which was pretty much only Aiden's room. 

I was never welcome in there anyway, not that I wanted to go in there in the first place.  Aiden and I would come to blows again because he couldn't open his damn mouth without finding some way to insult me and remind me how much better he was for Riley. His ego was too big for his fucking body. 

I attempted to get away as often as I could from the chaos—take walks around the neighborhood, sit outside in my car, or do whatever else I could to make the time pass.  I was terrified about going anywhere or leaving the house for longer than a couple of minutes.  My luck would be that Riley would decide she was ready to talk and drop in while I was away.

Knowing my girl's short-fused temper, she would have an explosive meltdown when I wasn't home, waiting on her like a good little puppy. Riley would find a way to make me pay for it.