Rosewood Institute

My current future

Birch's POV

I wake up to soft beeping in my ear. I'm sleeping on my stomach, which makes my ribs burn but I can feel the cuts on my back that are still mostly open.

I sigh as I swipe my tongue over my badly split lip, flinching at the stinging pain and blood that leeks out of it.

I open my eyes fully and see that I'm in a bright hospital room with two huge windows. I groan as I sit up, it feels slightly better on my ribs to sit up.

I look up as I see a huge man sat in one of those tiny hospital chairs, just looking at him makes me feel afraid. I can feel my hands begin to shake violently as I think about all the ways this huge man could hurt me.

It's like he could sense my looking at him, and he slowly opened his eyes. I quickly ducked my head down diverted my eyes to my lap, I knew I had to follow sir's rules or he'd punish me badly when he got back from his stint in jail.

I knew he'd be back, he always comes back.

He grunted as he stretched out his back til it popped, and then leaned onto his knees with his hands casually hanging in my eyesight, as to not scare or startle me. I refused to look at him, he sighed dejectedly and said to me, "Sweetheart, can you tell me your name?" He spoke in such a soft, calming tone. It almost made me melt, almost.

I continued to stare blankly at the white linen sheet on top of my lap, I knew not to speak or react. It was against sir's rules.

Don't say a word

Don't say a word

Don't say a word

Don't say a word

Don't say a word

Those words screamed in my head, but not more than the fact that I am who I am. I'm worthless, unloveable, and broken. What is the point of me living anymore?

So, what did I do? I just rolled onto my right side and pulled the sheets over my head, which was uncomfortable with me in this rib brace. Me just hoping beyond belief that he would leave, that my situation would change, and that I could just disappear.

He sighed again and said, "You can't just ignore this, honey. Anyways, your father already signed over your care to me yesterday. You've been asleep for four days after you were medically seen to. And you're coming to live with me and my boys in my home."

Mr. chair man waited

And waited

And then waited some more.

I heard another sigh, and dang doesn't this man likes to sigh. I then heard him muttering to himself about what I've been through.

God, what gives him the right to ask me about that?!

And why in the hell did my father have to sign away his parental rights to me over to a complete stranger? And send me to the middle of nowhere in the country?!

Because I know this rich asshole doesn't live in some crappy apartment in the city.

I completely stilled when I felt his hand on top of my head, I knew it wasn't sir but..... I could only flashback to all the times he pulled my hair and threw me across the room and beat me within an inch of my life.

I didn't realize I was sobbing until he picked me up and sat me on his lap. He started rocking me, but I freaked out and ran into the bathroom, locking the door behind me.

I could hear him banging on the door, asking me to come out. But the loud noises only made me freak out more, and I could feel my breath quickening which made my ribs scream in pain.

I need to get out

I need to get out

I need to get out

I need to get out

I dropped to the ground, holding my head. All I could think about was how helpless I am, how broken my poor battered soul is.

To help quell my shaking hands I wrapped them around the back of my head, locked my fingers together and started rocking back and forth to help stem my pending panic attack.

I didn't realize it until now, but the man outside the door had stopped banging on it. He was saying sweet words.

"It's okay baby boy I'm here... please breathe, sweetie... everything is going to be okay, you're safe with me..."

Safe?

What is safe? I know the word, but I never went to school after Iris died... So the word wasn't just foreign to me, it was... unknown.

I had never been safe or cared for or even acknowledged after I confessed to my father that I'm gay. I had not only had my education, emotional well-being , physical health, and my own security at a constant risk if not completely forgotten; but I had never had my mental health acknowledged before.

And the thought that a complete stranger cared more for me than my own father.... It hurt. Like hell.

How can I go on like this?

It hurt to think, to breathe, to just... be living.

But I knew Iris would be so bloody angry with me if I died, if I killed myself. I know I'm not living for me, which is bad, I know. But I have to live for something, and if it's for my dead twin's memory.... then so be it.

I steeled myself as I got up and unlocked the door, I hesitated for a moment as I willed myself to slide the door back so I could exit. But, I didn't have to.

Mr. chair man opened it and gathered me into a hug, which I fought at first. He hushed me and said everything is okay and I just did the one thing that I haven't done in years.... I hugged him back.

He smiled at me and placed his cheek on top of my head as he picked me up, sheet and all and said, "I know that your life has been difficult and hard, and I'm so sorry for that. But your doctors signed you out a few hours ago, and I was just waiting for you to wake up so I can take you home. So let's get you changed into something comfortable so we can get going."

I nodded at him and took his forearm in hand and wrote out:  B I R C H   IS   MY   NAME

He smiled at me and said, "It's very nice to meet you Birch, but I already knew your name due to the paperwork. Is there a reason why you don't speak? By the way, my name is Silas."

I almost smiled when he introduced himself, but frowned when he asked the question and just decided to shrug my shoulders. I didn't wanna get into it and I think he knew that when he didn't press the issue.

He just gave me a small smile and handed me a bundle of clothes, I sighed at that. I didn't like that he spent his money on me.

But Silas just patted me in the bum and said we needed to head home before dinner time. I got nervous at that, I didn't like eating all that much, it made me feel nauseous.

But I decided to forget about that and put on the clothes he got for me.

All I could think about was what my life would've been like if I was straight, and if I had my twin sister was by my side.

But maybe this home of his wasn't so bad... maybe just maybe it could be good for me.

I almost snorted at that, but I was hopeful that I could be more... free.

Yes, free. I had never had a freeing moment in my life, never made a soul decision for myself. And that was terrifying, but also a prideful moment. Me thinking that I could be ridden of my burdens and be free.

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