Rosewood Institute

Dandelion

Birch's POV

I blinked away the sleepiness from my eyes as I adjusted myself to the bright lights flashing in my eyes.

I quickly jolt out of the soft bed, I wasn't used to sitting in a chair non the less sleeping in a cloud like bed with fluffy pillows and blankets. It was all so... unfamiliar. And things I don't know or understand makes me feel uncomfortable and anxious, I used to have Iris help me with this but she's gone now...

I sigh thinking about her, she was so bubbly and full of life, even when father would beat me or take away our food.... I knew I had her to protect me from the world and me not having that anymore is devastating.

And not feeling our twin connection anymore and now not ever being able to see her grave anymore because of me moving here made me so sad.

But because I'm a mute I can't say anything, which makes me so frustrated! Then my poor schooling went to completely nonexistent when Iris died, and there's just so much that I don't I understand.... sometimes I wanna hit something, but I can't cause that would make me like him. And I'd die before I became anything remotely like my monster of a father.

I was going through all these thoughts as I look outside, I see some of the boys Mr. Silas described on our way over here playing soccer and swimming in the backyard. There were a few sunbathing or just hanging out, which I had no idea how they could be swimming when it was so cold out.

I really wanted to walk around outside, it had been so many years since I've been out before Mr. Silas took me here. I sighed as I watched them, laughing and having fun. I can't remember the last time I laughed, or even what it sounded like. I tried to mimic one of the boys who was smiling, but it felt like my face couldn't move like that. I wonder if I'll ever be able to enjoy life and not just survive it.

I noticed on the left hand of the backyard nobody was there, and there seemed to be an access to the forest from there as well. That looked like a good place to walk!

I snuck my way downstairs after I put on my hospital slides and grabbed a notebook and pen for writing and creeped out the service exit which was deserted. I figured everyone would see me if I came out the main back door and I wanted some privacy.

I made it to the forest quickly and started walking on the path, not particularly paying much attention around me. It seemed pretty empty around here, but I was hoping to see a deer or something, that would be so cool!

I sat down on the grass close to a waterfall and small pond, loving the soothing sound of the water.

I sighed as I looked up at the sun and closed my eyes to the sound of the birds chirping. I quickly opened them when I heard a stick breathing within the tree line on my left, and slowly a baby deer peeked out at me.

I was so excited! I slowly crept closer to the deer, and right when I reached out to pet it... it bolted.

Story of my life, right?

I sighed again and started walking in the forest, away from the path. I used to go on walking adventures with Iris all the time, as long as we were home for dinner... Father didn't care.

I just continued walking, jumping over fallen trees, throwing rocks into the stream I found and following them, and chasing butterflies in the flower field I found.

I decided to take a break when I saw the sun start to go down, me needing a bit of a rest. I saw a patch of dandelions and decided to make a flower crown of them.

I put it on and smile a tired and heartbroken smile. I remember when Iris and I used to make these at the park by our old house and have races on who can make the fastest one.

I started bawling my eyes out, remembering all our memories and knowing I'll never get another one. I miss my twin so much.

I love you, bubby. Forever and always, you'll always be my sunshine baby brother. I'll always be with you, no matter what. I love you, Birch.

Her last words to me before she died ring out into my mind replaying like a cd stuck on one track.

I screamed into my hands, the first sound I've made in years. The anguish and guilt of everything hitting me like a freight train.

Why can't I just get over this?!

She's dead, gone. I'll never see her again or hear her talking to me or laughing. I was always a quiet kid but loosing my better half broke something crucial within my soul.

I don't know how I'm ever going to be okay not having her always by my side.

After she died, father got so much worse with the abuse. I just became a shell of pain and fear, not really being present. I was just there to be his punching bag, and I endured only for the hope that one day I'd be free of him.

And now that I'm free, all I can think about is going back to that time and living those few happy moments with her.

Pathetic, right?

I take a shuttering breath and exhale it, making my bottom lip tremble.

I lay down on the long overgrown grass and try to take deep calming breaths, trying to envision something calming to try to calm down my racing heart.

After an hour of me staring at the darkening sky, I fall asleep to the sound of cricket's chirping and the cool breeze of evening on my flushed cheeks.