Rosewood Institute

Shadow on my Soul

Paisleys POV

We got out of the SUV with Birch on my hip, I lightly bounced him as we walked up the steps and into the house. I could practically feel the anxiety rolling off Silas in waves, I knew that anxiety I felt it on a daily basis. But I know in my heart, that we're what's best for Birch; he's our perfect little baby, scars and all.

Birch continues to snore on my shoulder, he had such fun at the park again, he loves going there and playing with the other boys. They love chasing him around and playing dragon vs knights is his favorite, or is it the floor is lava? I dunno anymore, Birch loves playing anything make believe

I lay him down in his playpen with his stuffed cat and tuck him in for his nap, he'll be out for another hour, then hopefully he'll want to play and bond with us some more.

It's a very detailed and intimate thing, choosing a dominant and bonding with them. For us, it's for life. It's not like Birch won't have a say in the matter, quite the opposite in fact. The submissive has all the power, they set the limits and help establish the rules.

We already know that littles aren't interested in romance the way the rest of us are, the most they'd want is cuddles and platonic face kisses.

Silas went into a lot of research when he first found out he's a daddy dom, but after years of searching and either finding fake littles or none at all, he gave up.

And to have not only the sweetest little to ever exist fall into our laps, and a boy at that, we were not just shocked but wary as well.

We're we enough for him or too much?
Can we give him all the love he deserves and requires?

I was scared that this house had too much chaotic energy for someone as sensitive and shy as Birch; yes, in his headspace he's an exuberant little boy but when he's out of headspace he's more shy and reserved.

As I looked into Silas' eyes, I knew he was feeling everything I was and more, looking at him made me remember exactly how I fell in love with him and the others.

There was always something special about the bond I have with Silas though, maybe it's because we're both daddies looking for a little or maybe it's that connection we have with our bad family histories.

I brushed my fingers against his cheek as he nuzzled into my hand with a fond smile on his face and said, "I know you're questioning us having someone as perfect as Birch with us but don't. I know I self doubted myself and everything else about him being here at first, but I know now that he belongs here with us, trust in that."

Silas nods as he steps away and says, "I know, I think we were all scared that we'd break him even more, what his father did to him will in one way or another, effect him for the rest of his life. I can only hope that we are finally on the starting point to his road to recovery. We can give him all he needs or desires, it just broke me on the inside when I saw him during his breakdown. He was so broken and depressed, I hope that he never has that happen again but I know better..."

I almost cried when he mentioned Birch's breakdown, but by no means was it the worst one we've seen. Hell, Xavier's fits of anger episodes could rival that of Lucifer's. Once one hit, it felt like you were in the pits of hell, with no way to escape it.

He's doing better now with proper medication and councilors he sees, but we all are here not just as Silas' boyfriends but also to get help from him. He's not just the best psychotherapist and psychiatrist in Europe, but also a fantastic counselor as well.

I could feel a wave of despair roll through me like a wave, I feel like my social battery for the day has just about met it's maximum. I knew Birch was safe with Silas, so excused myself to my bedroom so I could take a much-needed nap.