Rosewood Institute

Loving Him

Arundelle's POV

It's been a few days since Birch's mental health breakdown and he's been so much better. We all knew that would happen sooner or later, it happens a lot with littles first going into their headspace and after of course. But it was a good step in the right direction on where we can go from there.

Especially with someone of his background with the struggles he's had in his life, it's no wonder he hasn't had one before. He could've but maybe just couldn't see the signs then.

I know so much about mental health issues because I help Silas out a lot with the others and I've had mental health issues my entire life, same as my mother.

It was hard growing up with a crazy bipolar mom who at times couldn't even be bothered to get out of bed. Then at others she'd yell and scream at me for hours it seemed. My father had enough when she tried to feed me bleach when I was 6 to keep me clean. I've forgiven her now, but it was a long and hard road to get there, but I feel so much better for it in the end.

Let's just say having extreme OCD with underlying physical touch issues can hinder someone's life in a big way, but I make the best out of it and Silas has been a big help with that, he's not only the best psychiatrists in Europe but also a fantastic boyfriend who's extremely understanding when I'm having a bad day and need to self isolate myself.

We love Birch both little and big, but I have to admit his little side was such a cutie.

We all were currently lounging around on the grass by the waterfall as Birch, Jewel, Hades, and Basil were all playing in the water. Hades was more standing behind Birch to keep him steady but the lad looked happy enough to continue playing.

I smiled as I saw Jewel collecting small pebbles and other trinkets from around the cave opening, he's always loved collecting things like that.

Roman was currently reading a book, Silas was watching the waterfall, and the others seemed to be napping. I was getting a little bored but was trying not to let it show, Birch looked so happy. I just want him to stay like this forever.

"Bubble! Look! I gots a worm!" Birch yelled as he ran right for me, the nickname made me smile. But the thought of having a dirty worm anywhere near me or my baby almost made me have a panic attack.

Birch's dirty mud covered hand came closer and closer to me, my breathing picked up and before I could yell out, Xavier's muscular arms wrapped around my torso in a tight but comforting hug.

He knew that's what I needed in that moment, a grounding presence to help me with my anxiety over this situation.

I looked in panic as Silas picked up Birch and took him back to the river and muttered, "Come on, bubs, we need to return your little worm friend back to his family. They must be so sad their little babies missing."

Birch pouted as his looked at his worm friend then nodded at Silas. I couldn't help but think about all of the things I needed to do to clean the babies hand, to sanitize everything. I was so frustrated that germs bothered me this bad and effectively destroyed my view on the world.

I watched as Silas returned the worm to the mud pile and started to clean his and Birch's hands in the river, then he got out the hand sanitizer from his backpack to help sanitize them.

I relaxed when I saw this, then I felt a kiss upon my head as Xavier muttered, "You okay, baby?"

Xavier was a man of few words, but everything he said or did really showed how much he loves us. The way he tried to make us breakfast but burns the bread, or buys us flowers or chocolates from the store or even cleaned up the kitchen after dinner.

I smiled as I felt him hug me tighter, the grounding feeling was helping me with my nerves, but not completely losing my mind to the panic anymore.

I nodded as I grabbed my hand sanitizer from my bag and throughly cleaned my hands. I know it sounds stupid or crazy to be this grossed out by germs and dirt, but my mysophobia (extreme fear of germs) is real and I know it links to my trauma as a child by my father.

I know it's irrational to fear germs in this way, to excessively clean my bedroom or the kitchen to the degree I do. I know it bothers Silas when I completely reorganize the kitchen and deep scrub the floors with such abrasive chemicals that it makes my skin that has left scars on my hands.

And that's why Silas locked up the chemicals.

My hands shook as I watched Silas put Birch's shoes back on as he said, "We should head on back so we can be home before dinner, I think we all need a little down time tonight."

He looked at me with a pointed look that I knew meant I was having a session with him before bedtime. That made me roll my eyes, I was fine.

I sighed as I pulled my shoes on and got ready to leave, I just wanted out of here, I wanted a nap in my bed after a nice long hot bath.

I pulled Birch to my chest after his shoes were on, I couldn't help but love the little guy. He's so nice and sweet, and his little space just made all of us happy with how much he loves and trusts us.

I can't help but want all of these boys in my life for forever.

But first, I need a bath with one of my favorite bath bombs. I'm in much need of some quiet time with my favorite book and to hopefully avoid Silas' session for the time being.