Birch Bluebelle Hastings has been physically, verbally, and emotionally abused by his father since he was 8 years old when he told him he was gay.
His twin sister, Iris, died from leukemia when he was 10 years old and he hasn't loved anyone since...
I cried silent tears as I held Iris' box to my chest, remembering the day we put this box together.
*flashback starts*
"Birch! All you have to do is put things in here you love or would like other people in the future to see! That's the whole point of the time capsule! Then we seal it, hide it, then one day someone will find it!"
I was so excited, I automatically started thinking of the things I loved the most and I'd always just think of her, and our twin bond.
"Can we put a small piece of our hair in there? So we'd never be without each other?" I asked her with a sad look in my eyes, I was only 7 but I knew father didn't love us like he should and that always made us so sad.
She nodded and tied off an end of her hair and cut off with some scissors we stole from the kitchen.
It made me giggle when she tied mine off with some spare thread. It made me look like I had a puff on top of my head!
We then tried to braid them together, but it looked terrible and we made jokes about how we were the best hairstylists ever.
*end of flashback*
My heart felt heavy as we walked the path up the hill to the clearing where Iris is buried. I didn't tell them anything, just that I'd take them to Iris.
Tears clouded my vision as I think about the day father made me bury her. She was in the hospital and when she died, father ripped me off her body and ordered me to stay away from her, if I didn't I knew my punishment was going to be terrible.
And it was, I still shudder at the thought of that punishment.
I swear I saw a flash of emotion cross his face that day, and like a blink of an eye, it was gone never to be seen again.
I could feel their questioning gazes on me, and I tried to not look them in the eye. I know that I'm no longer under fathers rules, but I still question everything I do. Wondering if what I'm doing is right or wrong. I had father to tell me how and when to do everything, so making my own choices and deciding what's best for me is confusing to say the least.
It was the hardest thing in my entire life, when I buried Iris. It wasn't just physically demanding, but emotionally too. I chose the tree we used to climb on our daily walks as her headstone in a way. I knew I'd always see her in the trees growing all around, as well as the dandelions I always find.
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I cried knowing I'll never hear her voice, touch her face in the morning to annoy her so she'll wake up, or have her bandage my wounds from father.
All I have wanted for all these years since she's been gone is to have her back. I'd give everything for her to be living instead of me.
I don't deserve it I don't deserve it I don't deserve it I don't deserve it I don't deserve it
I sit in front of her tree and cry as I look up at it and say, "My twin is buried here, she died when I was 10 from leukemia.... And I dunno how to say what it feels like when your other half dies, but...."
I'm interrupted by multiple sniffles and cries of pain with murmurings of assent. I can feel Paris and Roman hugging me and I collapse into their warm arms.
I feel the sensation of being picked up and instinctively snuggle deeper into their chest seeking comfort.
"Oh darling, I wish you would've told us this sooner. But I do understand how hard it is for you to trust now. But I promise you, you'll be the happiest little boy in the whole world! All you have to do is give us a little trust. Can you do that darling?"
I think about it as I look into Mr. Silas's face, he seemed genuine but I'm still so scared of father.
I know Mr. Silas and the boys will protect me, and I have already trusted them with my greatest secret, my twin Iris. I know she'd want this for me, and I promised myself I'd live a better life if only in her memory.
Eventually I end up nodding my head slowly and he gives me a beaming smile and says, "I'm so proud of you, baby boy! You're doing so well! Now, let's go home!"
We are engulfed in a group hug with all of the boys, and I can't help but think that this new life of mine with the boys will be the greatest adventure of my life.
