Cancer.
It's a curse.
It turns people's lives upside down and ruins their relationships.
Brynne Foster is a perfect example.
After being diagnosed with leukemia at age 17, Brynne's family struggles to accept her decision of refusing chemotherapy...
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I tap my fingers in anticipation against the armrest on my hospital bed.
The feeling of a hairnet against my neck causes me to scratch the back of my head.
Monitors beeping at the speed of light, I can barely focus on my thoughts through all the white noise.
"You doing okay, sweetie?" Krista asks, concerned as she inserts the needle into my arm. Her voice provides an anchor for my mind.
I wince at the slight pressure before answering,
"I'm fine."
"Okay," She slowly removes the syringe and removes her blue gloves. Ignoring her look of concern, I swallow through my sore throat.
"You should be ready for a final check by Dr. Khan. After that, he will take you to the OR and begin the procedure." She calmly speaks while handing me a small pink pill with a glass of water.
I nod while watching her as she walks around the surgery prep room, grabbing certain supplies and throwing away wrappers.
Blake hasn't returned yet.
I begin to worry about him. He's not usually late for things like this. My anxiousness kicks in as I think about what kind of danger he could be in now.
My monitors speed up, and the beeping quickens.
Blake is not the type to back down from a fight, meaning he could be seriously hurt. It doesn't help that his Mafia and the Spanish are currently fighting. I can't help but blame myself for what's happening. If it weren't for my stupid list, I wouldn't have gotten Blake into all of this trouble.
I hope he's safe. I take a deep breath.
"Sweetheart," Krista gently touches my fingers, "Are you alright?"
I shake my head 'no' while my chest moves up and down heavily.
"Okay, take a deep breath." She coos while stroking my arm, "You may be having a panic attack."
She takes a look at the monitors and sighs.
I choke on my gasps as I fight back the awaited tears.
"I don't want to die," I whisper underneath my breath.
There, I said it.
I know that I have been on the fence about chemotherapy, but that's because I was scared of admitting that I needed help.
I'm too young to just perish into oblivion. Life has more to offer than just high school in Richmond, Virginia. There are fun things to experience and beautiful places to see. I want that for myself.
I want that for Blake and me.
"I know," Krista sympathizes with me.
For once, I finally have someone who isn't trying to tell me that I'm going to be okay, someone who isn't lying to me.
