Cancer.
It's a curse.
It turns people's lives upside down and ruins their relationships.
Brynne Foster is a perfect example.
After being diagnosed with leukemia at age 17, Brynne's family struggles to accept her decision of refusing chemotherapy...
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Friday, March 27
"I don't even know what a wedding registry is," I stress while looking at the list that my mom has set in front of me.
She giggles and looks at me with love in her eyes.
"It's only a wish list that you make, and guests can buy things off the list as wedding presents," Her voice sings, filling the air of my bedroom with happiness.
Yeah, you heard that right.
Bedroom.
I am out of my hospital room for a change.
Dr. Khan agreed that for the special occasion of my wedding, I was allowed to be discharged for the weekend. His orders were strict, something that angers me beyond belief. But I am grateful to be home, and I know that the precautions are not without a reason.
Although, it does suck staying in this bed all day while my family is planning out the wedding of my dreams.
The occasional question of;
"What's your favorite accent color?" Or,
"Would you prefer red or white wine at the reception?"
Are just enough to make me feel like I have an actual say in this entire thing.
"Okay. Well I need to get back to the venue to sort out a couple of things, but you work on that list in the meantime." My mom kisses me on the forehead before carrying her clipboard out of the room against her chest.
I grin at the fact that she is thriving with a purpose. In a way, this wedding is healing everyone in my life who has been broken by this awful disease inhabiting my body.
Earlier today, Elise stopped by with three options for bridesmaid dresses. Her excitement for this whole event reminded me of how we once used to be. It was nice of her to make me feel included in planning the little things. I can't wait to see how the sage green satin dresses look on Elise, Amber, Rory, and McKenna.
I sit up in the bed and clear my throat. My lungs have been killing me lately, something that I think the new chemotherapy is responsible for. The toxicity of the medicine I am pumping into my body is frightening.
Waking up in the middle of the night and not being able to breathe has been scary.
At some points, I think that I may be taking my last breath at that very moment. It feels as though the air has been sucked out of me, leaving nothing but emptiness and pain.
I look around my room at all the poster boards and collages my family has put together to show me what the wedding is going to look like.
From the pictures, it looks to be perfect. The venue is just above Boat Lake, a place that holds many memories for everyone in this town. There is a field where the ceremony is, and the view of the water is enough to make me want to get out of bed and go there right now.
