Cancer.
It's a curse.
It turns people's lives upside down and ruins their relationships.
Brynne Foster is a perfect example.
After being diagnosed with leukemia at age 17, Brynne's family struggles to accept her decision of refusing chemotherapy...
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After I told Blake that my chemo is not working, he has refused to leave my side.
I slowly trace his tired face with my thumb as he sleeps in the chair beside me. His upper half is resting on my hospital bed, and his back moves with his breathing.
I quietly observe his beautiful lips and high cheekbones. I touch his smooth skin and feel the calm breath rushing from his nose.
Wow, I think to myself, my boyfriend is perfect.
As he sleeps beside me, I watch him in his state of serenity.
I realize that in these past few months, so much has happened to the beautiful boy sitting here.
His father has risen from the dead, and revealed that he has been testing Blake all this time. His mother was brutally murdered, and he was the first to find her in a pool of her blood. His girlfriend has been in the hospital, causing him pain and worry.
And on top of all this, he's had to go to school and face all the people with a life that's easier than his.
I can't imagine being forced to run a full-blown mafia at the ripe age of eight. I couldn't fathom having to be the sole breadwinner of the family, basing whether or not they had dinner on his skills in selling drugs.
Not only did he have to be strategic and cunning, but he had to be careful and calculated. One wrong move and the police would spot their facade, and he would be the one facing the consequences.
His childhood was pretty much nonexistent, and I was there to witness all of it.
Slowly, after his father disappeared, he stopped coming over as much. He stopped having that playful look in his eyes when he saw me from across the room. Instead of wanting to play with action figures and legos, he was more interested in guns and knives. I could tell something had changed in him; I just never knew what.
Until now, I know the reason behind all of it. When he told me about how his father would force him to fight his close friends, everything made sense. How he would beat Blake until he couldn't stand, and all the while his mother was in the other room, oblivious to what was going on.
Back then, I didn't know why he would come to our house with a limp, or when he'd wince at the slight pushes Grant offered.
But now, I know what he had to endure. I know why he's so clueless about some things but very knowledgeable about others. I understand him, and he understands me.
The only difference is that he doesn't have to feel the pain of ruining my life. He doesn't have to live with the guilt of making his loved ones suffer until the last moment.
Because that's what my biggest regret in life is,
Letting him get so close to a girl who's not good for him.
