DEFINED HIS (IMMERGED HIS BOOK SERIES #3)

40. Debt-Avenge

~Not everything that looks complicated is complicated~

ADAH,

"Really Rahaan? You are here right now to clean the side of a man who have done nothing but harm to me? True feelings and love? Is that what you think he has for me?" I asked and laughed, I did heard all the things he said to me.

But the last remark stepped on my nerves, but it's just an excuse. I don't feel anything he said was true. I know how twisted Adarsh can be. And I am so damn sure that he is trying to justify, his actions by fooling an innocent man. "I know. He is not a nice man, and I am not here to justify any side. Please! I just came here to tell you what he needed to tell. The reason he dragged me here." He said to me.

Well, I don't even see how the hell he is being dragged in all this. I mean he certainly parted away and was moved on. Why'did he suddenly had to show up and side with Adarsh. He disgust me right now. I rolled my eyes at him. And just walked inside my living room and sat down on the couch.

I crouched, hugging my legs closer to my stomach, my chest clenching with realisation that there is a living being inside me. A proof of how stupid I was to trust that Adarsh can hurt me, but he will always keep me safe.

He was just standing by the door not entering. Of course, he had manners.

But I didn't invite him in. I don't want to seek his shoulder, by coincidence whenever I am in trouble or want to cry.

I dig my head on my knees, closing my eyes and thinking what was happening! Thankfully I was not parted with Adarsh.

If there was a tiniest bit truth in what just Rahaan told me, Adarsh will no longer try to run my way. Because it might hurt me. I am free for him.

But what about all the things that will cloud me for now to eternity? Should I just consider abortion?

I can restart everything. But ain't that selfish of me? This child did no wrong. But considering he might now even be alive or aware, so--

It's either logic or emotions. And God knows what I am slanting through?? What should I seek!

And most of all, should I really blame it on Jagdish? I have always had a hint of something between Jagdish and Adarsh. How much was it true then?

What am I doing! I told myself not to believed in it! Why are you thinking then!

I was distracted and out of my slumber by the little throat voice which wasn't an intention but rather, a outgrowl without expectation.

I turned, he flushed, and I remembered he was still at the door. "You must be thinking, this girl is taking in rape too well. Don't you." it was not a question directed at him, but rather a accusation at myself.

Even I am strangely startled at the way I can't form tears in my eyes and cry out loud. My chest is heavy. But still. Nothing is out of me.

"May I come in?" He asked me. I turning his way, and gave him a quick nod. "Look, don't let this crush you just because that's how it should be. You are strong that's why you are dealing with it more efficiently. You are practical." He said, approaching near the couch. While he lurked his arms resting on the couch's edge of backrest.

It surprises me, that we barely know each other and yet his words made more sense to me, then mine ever made."You must be feeling be dragged in a dark room, with just thoughts that will cloud you. Must be fogging you. Don't let this get you depressed and anxious. You have fought for yourself all these years. First attempting to lurk out the dark thoughts that you killed a person and now this. "He said, every word precisely.

I thought I'd never get my calm, I was wrong. This man got the heavy chest out to relax.

He was standing near but still kelt his distance from me, and didn't just barge in my house, usually like what Adarsh had done with me forever.

"What should I do? Rahaan?" I asked him, I was utterly confused and my question came to him like a shock. Because I asked for his opinion.

It's a burden. I shouldn't have asked him that, I threw him in an uncomfortable situation.

"Look, don't ask yourself alot of question and just focus on what you feel like?" He asked me.
"I feel like I want to keep this child. But-"

"That's enough then." He cut me off in middle, and looked at me something weirdly. "Every but, just makes it more hard. Sometimes you gotta make yourself simple sentence not complex ones. But, what they will say. What will. Happen? Or how will I deal? Its just all a question that won't matter at all, or some that will matter later. And you know we can always leave the later to deal later."

Just as stupid, as it sounds this makes sense. I can always leave the worries of tomorrow to deal tomorrow.

Maybe I don't need to be so calculated. Alright then, I'd just use the simple lines to make decisions.

Do I want the Child?

"Yes" I hissed to myself, he didn't disturb me.

Didn't I always wanted to run away from him?

"Yes, I want to run away from him."

Do I want to leave everything and move on at some other place with no trouble. Like the old times?

"Yes."

Yess! This is all that matteres. What and will, would never and should never haunt me ever again.

All just left is the Debt. The money i am supposed to pay Adarsh. And the fact I have been raped. My avenge.