DEFINED HIS (IMMERGED HIS BOOK SERIES #3)

46. Adarsh.

~I was afraid of dark in childhood and now I find solemn in it.~

ADAH

My eyes filled with water pouring inside, my heart sank at the scene, my palm sweating in Rahaan's hand. Everything blurry and dizzy. What is going on? How can this hapoen?

Adarsh have done many wrong things but death wasn't an option.

The way his last word rang in my ears.

'I have lost everything man, I am not afraid of loosing anything anymore. The thing most important to me is gone, from my reach.'

I saw Adarsh in the pool of his own blood. He is not a weak man. He never was, he knew how to fight. How to win riots. This isn't him. This can't happen. The ambulance and people pooled so much to see the scene.

The media was making a big  out of everything, continuing talking something from a far. I couldn't focus. I walked at his way, and sat in front of him, Rahaan closely behind me. I started to bawl in the public.

People muttering how they recognise me from the news or magazines. Not that I care. I couldn't hold on the tears that had pooled in my eyes and I just cried out loud. How can this happen? No! Adarsh!

This is not you,

I raised my hand to slightly touch his face to actually believe that it was Adarsh. I touched his cheek. A painful sob releasing from my chest, I didn't wanted to accept his heart, true. I didn't wanted to be his wife, true. I didn't wanted to be around him, true. But fuck! I can remember the last 10 years of my past when he wasn't in my life.

He mattered, his existence mattered. Yes i hated him. But my hatred was no less of a emotion towards him. I didn't wanted him gone. Never once.

I felt my hand on my shoulder. I looked up at Rahaan, he sat down on his knees, when I fell down in his arm with a loud cry.

No! This is wrong. This is wrong. God can't do that to me, to him. He wasn't week, he wast frail and not at all break able.

I took my head out from his crook and stared at Rahaan, "He didn't kill HIMSELF Rahaan. That can't happen. I know him, this is not true. This is not fucking true." I told him explaining him he frowned at me. "I know you are devastated Adah," He said calmly. He hardly knew him. I did. I have been with him for ten years.

He stared in my eyes and shook his head and hugged me even intensely.

He was being taken away by my force. But now the ambulance was taking Adarsh with him away, I parted and turned to him, I hold on his hands and started to strode towards the ambulance. "The pulse is working," We heard someone say as soon I was in the ambulance.

Fuck! Why didn't I check it! I am a fucking doctor! I am for fuck sake a fucking doctor. I tried to come back to my senses. And I started to look through his pulse, his heartbeath with my hands and feel. But I couldn't feel anythimg.

Simply because right now my heart was beating intensely, my brain wasn't calm. I can't do anything in this state. The door closed and they started to drive the ambulance. I was alone? Rahaan didn't follow me. He had his car, and as expected he was following me with his car.

I wish he was here so I could talk, with Adarsh's lifeless body before me. I fucking needed someone. Tears kept pooling at me and I swiped my tears away again and again. I remember the time I tried to kill him in his house when he had be under his clutch badly.

That time how desperate I was, right now. I want him to live. Not because I want to be with him. But because he doesn't deserve death. No he don't.

The ambulance came at halt and people started to walk out, he was being taken in an ER. Doctor diagnosing him till he was in the way, my dad and mom approached me. "Darling! What is going on?" my mom asked me, I hugged her tightly,

"Mom save him! Please, save him! Please!" I cried, my dad's hand on my back.

"Oh, love. Why don't you do the operation. This will of you saving him might get you out of your darkness," dad said behind me. I scoffed with my tears, I couldn't feel his pulse in the ambulance. How can I even think of opening his body.

This shock inside me was too much for me to take any hasty steps.

I shook my head," No dad. I can't do that. You know I have lost control on myself I haven't practiced for years." I turned Rahaan approaching me. When we saw Adarsh beings settled in the ER.

My dad gave a nod my way and he went to change in ER suit. "I'd perform it for you. You can come inside and witness the operation so you don't feel that we didn't do our best daughter. I want you to have no regret anymore for another death in the ER."

I followed him inside he started to do the surgery.

RAHAAN

I heard him father speaking and Adah following her father behind the closed operation door. Her mother had no guilt in her eyes or sadness. I didn't get this.

But before that my head wondered.

How is he certain that its going to be another death?