My Alpha Kingsley

Chapter 12

Max

"Wow my mate is so smart" I smiled at that, it's been a long long time since anyone has said anything nice about me, my smiled faulted "Max is everything ok?" Kingsley said looking concerned "sorry, I haven't had a complement in a long long time" "well you will be hearing lots from me" I smiled at that
"So anyways, me and Hayden were as thick as thieves always together, people started to say that we could possibly be mates" this made Duke growl "calm down Wolfie, I never saw anything in it, he was my best friend my brother, however this comment got back to both our fathers and from then on there was always someone watching us at all times, it was weird and then when I shifted for the first time, I was told never to shift in front of any of the pack apart from my family and the Alpha's family, it slowly started getting worse from then on" I didn't realise I was crying "sorry I need to stop talking about it"
"It's ok baby thank you for telling me that much, did you want to go to college, you could do online courses, you could look into it?" Did I want to go to college? "I always wanted to, I wanted to be a vet but I don't know now, that was in the past maybe I can think about it"
After I finished the ordering I went back to our room, I sat on the bed and I just started to think about what happened to my life, do my sisters know about me, does my mum know, hell what happened to Hayden, I can't believe he would let that happen to me but then again he must have known, how do I even start telling Kingsley about this part of my life....... I need to stop thinking of the past and think of the future, I know Kingsley has been patient with me but I guess I'm going to go into heat soon as I'm the submissive one and he will get his rut, I just know I can't have him touch me I'm gonna start having flash backs and then he will really see what a mess I am, why does he even want me, I'm no good, I'm broken, I'm used, I'm filthy he could have someone much better that isn't broken or used. I didn't realise I was having a panic attack until I was brought out my trance by Kingsley's voice
"Baby it's ok, whatever your thinking about it's not true, your fine I've got you and I'm not going anywhere" he had managed to get me on the floor and I was sitting in between his legs whilst he was hugging me from behind "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm a mess, I'm such a mess, why do you want me?" I sobbed into his chest.
"Max, you have had to deal with an awful experience but you survived, you will get stronger, you will have your good days and your bad days but you will never go back there, you are with me now for life, your stuck with me, I'm not letting you go, you are my life and I want to be your life, you have a smile that lights up the whole room I want to see that more often, your son is amazing and I can't wait to have more pups running around our feet, you are caring, compassionate, you listen to what I have to say, I have seen you with the omegas, they love you, in fact I'm a little jealous of them, they get to see you smile and laugh" this made me giggle "I want to hear that giggle more often, I know you don't feel the same as I do at the moment but I know one day you will love me as much as I love you" what did he say? "Huh, you what, you love me?" I said looking at him "yes, I know that my pack think I'm cold and my heart is made of stone, yes I can be like that, I can get angry quickly and I have no time for idiots but I have all the time in the world for you and Princeton as I have said before, you broke my walls down very very quickly and wormed your way into my heart and I don't think your coming back out but I'm ok with that in fact I'm very very happy about that, I can't wait to tell the pack you are my mate and their Luna" I wiped my face with my hands "Thank you, I needed to hear that, I got a little caught up in my past and I couldn't focus on the present or my future, I'm trying so hard as you said I'm gonna have my good days and bad days, I just want the good days to out weigh the bad days" I realised whilst all of this happened I'm happy at this moment in time sitting in between his legs, I felt safe.
"I'm worried about my rut well I guess heat, I'm scared of the flash backs" "well you can take some heat pills and that should calm it down, I think we are just gonna have to wait and see how you feel and go from there". I nodded, he picked me off the floor like a weighed nothing, making me huff and him laugh, "come on, get changed, let's go out for lunch, I will go and get Princeton, it can be our family date" "ok" I ran off into the bathroom and stared at the reflection in the mirror, I looked a mess, puffy red eyes, tear stained cheeks my hair was everywhere but he said he loved me, I'm not sure what love is anymore but I want to find it again and I want it to be with Kingsley, a new start.

After my shower and getting dressed I walked into the lounge to see my two favourite people my mate and our son, wow our son it came so naturally, they hadn't seen me, I watched them as Kingsley blew raspberries on Princeton's tummy making him giggle, even tho he is only 7 weeks old he looks about 3 months old as werewolves age quicker. I watched them for a couple of minutes smiling at the scene in front of me, this is it, this is what my life could be, Kingsley looked up at me and smiled "babe, how long you been there?" "Just a few minutes, I was just watching my two favourite people" I said as I walked towards them as Kingsley picked up Princeton and put him in the pram.
We walked down the road towards the diner, people just stared at us some smiled, some bowed their heads, others turned away nervously and some of the she-wolves flirted with him, I looked at Kingsley "Huh, you get it all flirting and scared, are they really scared of you?" He sighed "Yeah, a lot of pack members came from bad places most of them, it was because of high ranked wolves mistreated them" "I guess I get it everyone takes time to learn to trust again" I said looking at Kingsley who just smiled at me sadly "I guess it also doesn't help that i haven't really integrated myself with the pack, I talk to Leighton but the pack talks through Leighton, I'm hoping you can help with that so Leighton can do his job and not have to worry about me and the pack" I nodded and we carried on walking as Kingsley talked more about the pack.
We walked into this lovely little diner, that even had a bell on the door, what made me giggle, yes giggle was the fact that Kingsley had to duck to get in through the door, I could hear him grumbling about the small door, I turned to look around the diner and everyone was watching us, I backed up a little and into Kingsley, he whispered "don't worry, they aren't going to hurt you, it's just they only ever see me with Leighton or by myself" I nodded. We found ourself a table in the corner and left Princeton in his pram asleep.
A waitress walked over to us "Hi... Alpha Kingsley" she said looking at the floor "Hi Margo, what have I told you about looking at the floor" "sorry Alpha" she said looking at his chest "we will just have to keep working on it" she smiled a little then looked at me then back at the floor "Margo this is Max and the pup is Princeton" she whispered a Hi, she left us our menus and took our drinks order and rushed off, "she is Leighton mate, like most Omegas she is scared of high ranked wolves, I have tried with her but she is still scared of me" he said with a sigh "it looks like she is scared of me as well" "that's because your a Beta meaning High rank" I shrug my shoulders. I ordered a cheese burger with fries, I still wasn't use to eating 3 meals a day, Kingsley ordered 2 bacon cheese burgers with fries and onion rings. The conversation flowed the whole time, talking about music, films, books and food. The whole time we were in there everyone was watching us, we had just finished our meal when Princeton woke up, I picked him up and went to pick the bag up to sort out his milk when Kingsley took Princeton and put him on his lap and started to play with him, the whispering got louder, to the point Kingsley growled and everyone shut up "sorry about that Princeton, some people can't keep their noses out" he whispered to Princeton but everyone heard. After we feed Princeton we left saying bye to Margo.