Chapter 14

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Max

The pain in my head was unbearable, it was..... I can't even explain what it sounded like, I just wanted to tear my head off. At some point the noise disappeared.
"Max, are you there?" Came a whisper
"Yes, who are you?"
"It's me Duchess"
"Where have you been, you left me" I whispered out
"I'm sorry, I, I tried so hard to stay with you but I couldn't stay with you and take your pain, so I had to disappear into your mind so I could help take some of your pain"
"Oh......I would have preferred if you had stayed, you should have asked me, I spent 3 years with no one in that basement thinking my wolf had left me, if I could have killed myself I would have" Duchess whimpered at me
"I'm so sorry"
"So your back for good?"
"Yeah I am, you found our mate then?"
"Yeah Alpha Kingsley, his wolf is Duke" this made Duchess laugh "yes we know Duke and Duchess"

I woke up to find I was in the packs clinic. I don't know what came over me but I kissed Kingsley and it was loving and tender and just what I needed my first kiss that I willing gave out, it gave me some confidence back.
The ceremony is going to happen next weekend and I know I needed to tell Kingsley about my past before the ceremony, I want a new start and this is where I start. Kingsley had pack things to do, so I spent the day worrying about what I needed to say, how to start this conversation, a very important conversation. I was so lost in thought I hadn't noticed Kingsley come in, he kissed me on the forehead making me jump
"Sorry I didn't mean to scare you" "you didn't, I was just so lost in thought I didn't hear you come in" "is everything ok?" "No, yes ummm I dunno, I know this is strange but do you have a lake or river on your land?" "Yes we have a river that runs at the end of our territory" "can we go there, Duchess would like a wash, I know her fur is a horrible shade of dirt and she would like to meet Duke" "yeah we can do that" we walked outside and we stripped and tied our clothes to our legs "Duchess can't wait to have a bath" this made Kingsley laugh, we both shifted into our wolves and I followed Kingsley through his territory, it took about 45 minutes to get to the river and Duchess dived right in Duke laid down on the bank watching, after about 10 minutes Duchess climbed out and laid next to Duke who had his eyes closed so Duchess nudged him with her snout, they snuggled up together purring and licking each other scent marking each other. I felt hands running through my fur
"Max, Duchess is stunning, I can't believe under all that dirty was a beautiful white wolf, I love the crescent moon mark over your left eye, oh wow, you have socks, well your fur is gray on your paws so it looks like you have socks" we purr at Kingsley words, he shifts back into his beautiful dark gray wolf, his stunning blue eyes pop against the darkness of his wolf. Duchess is purring so loudly "I can't wait for us to mate and mark each other" " I know I  can't Duchess but I'm nervous and scared, you weren't there when I needed you, I can't explain what I went through for you to understand the mental scars I have, that I will always have" she whimpered out loud making Duke turn and watch us, I shifted into my human form "Sorry Duke, can we go back to the house, I need to talk to Kingsley" he nodded and got up as I shifted back in Duchess and we ran back to the pack house chasing each other through the trees like we didn't have a care in the world, it felt nice, it felt right, I felt safe.
I was pacing back and forth in the living room in front of Kingsley
"Babe, please stop walking and tell me what's wrong" he said quietly whilst dragging me to the sofa, "I want to tell you about my past, but I have no idea where to start?" I said looking at my hands, I can't look in his eyes
"Ok, well shall I ask a question" I nodded "when you shifted you said that they wouldn't let you shift again, well in front of the pack do you know why?"
"Sort of.......it was my wolf, they never knew she was a girl to start with, but it's because I was white and I had the moon marking on my face, they said it was special and that the marking should have been given to an Alpha or Luna not a Beta" this made Kingsley snort "your gonna be a Luna soon" "they didn't know that, I didn't know that, they made me think I was some sort of freak and then when I realised I was pregnant that was even worse, I thought only Omegas could get pregnant" I looked at Kingsley for the first time, who was watching me "that's what I thought so too, but as you said you are special, one of a kind" he pulled me into his chest and kissed my head. I laid against his chest for a few minutes.
"We had just graduated and everyone was at the pack house celebrating, Hayden was going off to Alpha training at the weekend for the next 2 years.  He had been really down for the last 3 months, well since he had turned 18 and hadn't found his mate, I thought him going to the training would help take his mind off it. The camp that he was going to had decided to start a Beta program that would start after Christmas so I was going to follow him in 6 months time.  We were sitting in his room trying to pack his stuff up
"Are you ok Hayden, you have been down for awhile?" I said to him, he came and sat next to me on the bed hugging a pillow "no and yes, I'm looking forward to Alpha training but I have been down because I hoped when I turned 18 the person I liked would have been my mate, but they weren't so going to the training might help me get over them but also haven't you noticed my dad and yours have been acting weirder than usual" I laughed at that "yeah I noticed it too, I can't wait until we can take their places" Hayden nodded "yeah we are gonna shake the place up" making us both laugh and fist bumped each other, he left the next day. The whole week, I felt like people were watching me, I tried texting Hayden but never got a reply then on the Friday I got a letter, it was from Hayden, it was on a scrap of paper and it looked like it had been written in a hurry and it said
Dad took my phone, and we can't contact anyone for the first year unless an emergency, you need to run, something isn't right, as soon as I can get away I will but it's locked down in here.
Once I read that I packed a small bag and made a run for it, as you can tell I didn't make it out the territory, I remember seeing the river that marked the end of our pack lands and then darkness, I woke up in the basement in my human form naked on a mattress, they had thrown my bag down with me, which had a few pairs of clothes in it, I put a pair of trousers on and waited." I looked up and realised I was crying, Kingsley wiped my tears with his thumb "it's ok baby, you don't have to continue" "I do, just give me a minute" "would you like some water?" I nodded and in seconds he came back with a glass of water which he handed to me and then made sure I was snuggled back into his chest.
I took a deep breath and I could hear Duchess telling me i was doing good and to just take my time.
"I spent 4 years in that basement, being raped by Hayden's dad the Alpha, my my ffffather" Kingsley growled making the place shake "calm down please, I need to finish, please" I looked at Kingsley and saw that Duke had taken over "Please Duke for me, please calm down" I whispered into his neck, I felt him nod I wiped the tears away from my face "they also brought in the head warrior and 4 other guys but I had never seen them before, they didn't come that often maybe once or twice ever 6 months, the other 3 I was lucky if I managed to get away with 24 hours without one of them coming to see me to either rape or beat me up, when ever I asked why, they told me it was because I was born and because I was gay, I never told anyone I was gay, I had dropped hints to Hayden but that was it, there's a part of me that thinks that Hayden knew about this but then I think he wouldn't do something like that, I just don't understand, did he go looking for me, did he think I got away, did he forget about me, I have so many questions, is he still alive, did they kill him because he found out?" I was a mumbling crying mess, I looked up at Kingsley "you are an amazing beautiful man, you are a fighter, a warrior and all mine, thank you for surviving and being here with me" he kissed me on each cheek and then a slow kiss on the lips we pulled away "I do have a question, Princeton?" "Ummmm I don't know who the father is and I don't want to know, if you find out, please never ever tell me, I beg you" I looked at him with pleading eyes "Max you never have to worry he is ours Alpha and Beta that's all we need to know, how did you and him survive?" "I have no idea, not one clue, I was beaten and starved, I didn't notice I was pregnant to start with because well I didn't know I could and also I was just skin and bones, but I felt movement and that freaked me out for a couple of days until I worked it out, the problem I had was I needed to shift into my wolf form to give birth as Duchess is female but I haven't seen or heard from Duchess in years so I didn't know if I could also I was so scared, that they would find out and kill me or the pup but I was lucky they had a visiting pack over that weekend when I gave birth so they didn't come down until after, once I heard the lock on the door click I shifted back and hid the pup, they were drunk out there minds and they had someone else with them I'm guessing someone from the pack that was visiting, they didn't rape me this time but they all decided to beat the hell out of me, I just curled up in a ball and waited until it was over, it was then and there I decided I had to get out for the pup. They have never once forgotten to lock the door but that night they did and I thank the goddess every day since then because it got me to you" I finished and kissed his lips feeling the tingles and sparks along with our salty tears.

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That's me done for the night- 4 chapters

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