Disorder 5

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Normally Mina would find it hilarious, how defensive Chaeyoung is being. But not right now not when she is still reeling from Jeongyeon's revelation, not when she is so down. The sheer uncalled-for meanness is the final straw.  So she does not fight it when her eyes fill and the sobs escape.

Mina body-wracking sobs fill her sockets and all she can do is press her knuckles to her eyes. She hates that Chaeyoung is seeing her weakness and her shame.

Of course just on cue it starts to rain. Not a light mist but a heavy downpour that has fat raindrops pelting hard enough to hurt her.

Chaeyoung grabs her wrist and gently shoves her into the passenger seat of her car, slamming the door.

Moments later she joins Mina in the driver’s seat. It is raining so heavily that there is zero visibility in the windshield. This strangely intimate space they both occupy makes Mina nervous but she still cannot stop the tears from leaking out her eyes. With a loud sigh, Chaeyoung shoves a box of tissues in her direction, careful not to touch her.

She hiccups and yanks out three at once, blotting the tears from her eyes. Her mascara must be bleeding down her cheeks, but she doesn’t care anymore.

Chaeyoung sighs and points to a clear plastic bag presumably for Mina to throw her used tissues in.

"So your crush has a girlfriend." Chaeyoung scoffs, adding insult to injury. "Why the hell would you waste your time on that giraffe? she won't see you ever"

Mina finds Chaeyoung's wince satisfying when she blows her nose, loudly. And when she drops the crumpled-up tissue on the dashboard deliberately, the blonde grabs another clean tissue and sweeps it into the bag glaring at her.

She stares at Chaeyoung hands. "Are you obsessive-compulsive, Chaeyoung?" she asks quietly in a thick voice.

Chaeyoung doesn't answer.

"I cannot imagine what that is like but it must be similar to loving someone. You can’t help it. You have to do what you do, and you have no control over your emotions. The world has unseen rules that make you behave the way you do, to feel this way about the one you love"  Mina's voice cracks.

"And sometimes even if it hurts, even if you know that there will be an inevitable end, even if you know they don't feel the same way, you still find yourself acting in a manner that you know will eventually lead to pain. You don't have a choice. You just do what you do because your heart tells you to."

Chaeyoung tugs a glove off her hand and hovers it over Mina's.

Mina can see how Chaeyoung's hand trembles and how much it is taking for the blonde to make this simple human contact.

Chaeyoung's fingertips finally graze the brunette's skin.

Mina watches Chaeyoung's eyes close as if she is forcing herself, letting out a breath that she did not know she was holding.

Mina skin burns from where Chaeyoung's touches her so gently. She wonders if that is why the blonde wears gloves all the time.

"I do not like this feeling of other people" Chaeyoung says through gritted teeth. "people are disgusting, and messy, and complicated. What is the point of a heart, if it will cause you pain? Heart… as if it were something one could hold in the palm of your hand." She pulls her fingers away, grabbing a wet-wipe and scrubbing at her fingers in precise motions.

Mina studies the cast of Chaeyoung's profile against the darkness outside, the ridge of her forehead and the outline of her jaw. "Why are you so nice to me?" she whispers. "You didn't have to help me when you found me that night. You didn't even have to get me out of the rain."

Chaeyoung's discomfort is palpable in the small intimate space. "I don't know."

"Maybe you're really a nice person?" Mina offers trying to meet Chaeyoung's gaze.  The blonde avoids her and gazes out the window.

"Do you honestly think that I would do this for anyone?" Chaeyoung pulls the glove back on, slipping it on the steering wheel. Mina wishes she could see past her mask but her eyes are cold.

A ball of heat in Mina chest is unfurling at Chaeyoung's words. "Then.." she begins but she was cut off.

"Then, what?" Chaeyoung snaps, losing her temper. "I told you I don't know, I don't know why no matter how much I scrub and clean my room your damned scent won't go away, I don't know why I wake up early to go to class so I can see you come in, not that I want to. I don't know why it hurts here" she thumps her chest

"when I see you around that… that… idiot laughing and smiling warmly. I don't know why when I enter a room I automatically look for you."

Chaeyoung's chest is heaving from her speech. She pounds the steering wheel with her fist in frustration. "And you are crying because someone who is blind did not see you."

Mina is stun but she understands Chaeyoung loves her and realize something.  "I was crying" she held her hands trying to quell the trembles "because I realized I did not love her after all I only liker the idea of having a crush and because I was ashamed of my stupidity. I should have noticed you sooner. It took a strange turn of events for me to end up in your bed. I'm sorry Chaeyoung and thank you for your confession. I want to return your feelings"

Chaeyoung eyes meet hers wary and watchful. "I will not be your rebound." Direct as always.

Mina laughs, covering her mouth with her hands. While she is giggling Chaeyoung leans forward and kisses her through the  mask and through the brunette's hand, catching Mina off-guard.

Then Chaeyoung pulls the brunette hand out of the way, and tugs her mask down to kiss Mina's warm, soft lips properly, she nibbles it very carefully.

The rain falls around them but in the car Mina feels like she is on fire. She kisses Chaeyoung back shyly. She can feel the blonde trembling as much as she is and it warms her heart.

"I hope that this will warn you not to make fun of my feelings." Chaeyoung murmurs against the kiss.

"Noted." Mina let's go of their lips with a smile.

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Sorry for any errors

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