Sweeney & Bowen

Chapter Twenty-Five: If It's True Love

I knew I was wrong. I knew Carlos was wrong. Ricky had just gotten out of a serious relationship, and Lily has been trying to get his attention for months, of course, he would choose her.

As I fought back tears, storming out of Slices, Carlos and Seb followed behind, both wearing worried looks.

"Please talk to us!" Carlos pleaded, so I stopped in my tracks to turn around.

I shut my eyes, in fear of tears falling, "I love you, and it means everything to me that you guys wanna see me happy, but...you were wrong."

A taken aback Carlos shakes his head in denial, "What? How?!"

"What did Ricky say?" Sympathy laced Seb's gentle tone, softly stroking my right arm.

I scoff a sarcastic laugh at the memory, opening my eyes, "He was calling Lily. Because "everybody deserves second chances," like EJ?" My tone at the latter was confused and unsure, remembering how Ricky suddenly brought up mine and EJ's relationship, as if we were rekindling, despite how close EJ and Gina have gotten.

Carlos shook his head in shame as disappointment crosses his face before, meeting Seb's gaze. Instead of talking, they mentally agreed to pull me into a group hug.

"Go back inside," I insist, trying to lighten the mood while accepting their embrace, "I just wanna go home. Enjoy the after-opening-night glory with Ash and Kourt, you guys were the stars of the show." I pull away to offer a smile, ignoring their sad faces.

That was a few weeks ago, and my life has not gotten any easier since.

Mom and Mr. Mazzara have decided to get married; despite not being engaged. And Damian finally told me why Dad left the musical so early, it was because Mom finally told him about Mr. Mazzara.

Apparently, Dad blew up on her, saying that he always knew that something was going on between them, and that he feels Mom never truly loved him because of Mr. Mazzara.

I haven't heard from my dad since. But that part was normal. He always disappears for a while. However, no matter what, we always spend summer together. It's tradition: EJ tries dragging me to Camp Shallow Lake, and I have to constantly remind him that I have plans, then I go see my dad until August. Every year.

Now, about Ricky...

Carlos keeps saying that everything was just a big misunderstanding; that he should have told me as soon as Ricky confessed his feelings, and all of this could have been avoided. Carlos swears up and down that the only reason Ricky thought I was giving EJ a second chance, was to protect himself; instead of facing, what he thought was reality, that I didn't like him back.

And maybe he is right, Ricky thinks Carlos told me before opening night, and when I said I had nothing left to say to him before the show, he thought that was me rejecting him.

All of this has caused me to reflect on my failed relationships: Junior Year started off as nothing short of agonizing. I hid behind soft hues, no one knew just how heartbroken I was.

However, it was the type of heartbreak that didn't defeat me, I still had hope that we would get back together. EJ was my first serious relationship, and he left me. When he started dating Nini, I had a mental list of all of the reasons why. She was more put together than me, more soft-spoken, more loving — or so I thought, at the time.

But, when I didn't win him back, when he practically rejected me on Thanksgiving, I was fine with it. I fell in love with myself instead.

Shortly after the new year, I met Howie. I wasn't heartbroken when he rejected me, I was bitter. But soon enough, I got over it. I was fine with it.