Along came Avery

3 0 . b u t t e r f l y e f f e c t

I firstly want to say thank you to yall who really been supporting my books since day one. I remember you guys from my first books. Y'all really stuck it through with me over the last three (?) years, like y'all are here to stay.

So calling y'all fans isn't cool for me, bc I'm literally nothing special like that. Y'all are my readers, and most importantly, lovers, bc of the love you give so willingly, it's insane. I feel like I shouldn't even say "my readers" bc it's so top quality and I'm literally not deserving. Thanks so much man♥️

•••••••

Act, I did. Regret, I'm feeling from every angle and every hole existing in my body. I think this morning I was close to puking at the thought. The sight — seeing this rather deep purple brown weird patch under my ear by my jaw, and another not even an inch below — already makes my shoulders tense and stomach clench. I had to let loose my braids and keep them covering the sides of my neck.

We're in an open view food court, for our date, and still deciding on what to get. Nate thought it would be nice here, just so we could see the view until the sun starts to set, and then we'd head back to campus. I agreed too, considering I didn't want to go to my last sessions anyways and he had a free. The weather is even nice. Very warm, so I'm simply wearing light jeans with a long sleeve shirt, no jersey or anything to add on to the warmth.

I stare up at him, forcing the smile on my face even when guilt eats me alive at my gut. He smiles back at me, lowering down his water bottle and taps the back of his hand against the corner of his mouth.

"You've been awfully quiet, to be honest." He closes the bottle and then places it down between us. "Even yesterday. You've just been quiet the whole day. Started worrying, thinking something happened to you."

I shake my head, waving my hand dismissively. "I've just been in my head."

"What about?"

"Ahm..." Avery, and his marks hidden. My knee starts bouncing anxiously. "Home. I miss home."

Nate lifts his eyes up at me and frowns sympathetically. "Ah. I can understand. You've been this side and in dorm for a while, so being homesick will happen at some point. I guess it's happening now for you. Maybe you should go visit for a weekend or something?"

"Yeah. Exactly." Partially. "I even spoke to Amber about it, and she suggested the same. Next week, actually, since tomorrow is the party thing and we're all going together. Or I might just go on Sunday? But traveling back and forth home and school will be a lot.

"Isn't it like an hour or two away from here?"

"Yeah. But the cost of petrol?"

"Hmm." Nate hums, nodding. "I guess next week works then. Leave on the Friday and come back Sunday afternoon."

I nod. She still hasn't responded, my sister. What I know is she did read my message. She's seen my texts but she isn't responding at all. Maybe something happened and she's keeping it from me? I don't know.

Not exactly worried about my parents, though. They did rock up just the past weekend without an invitation. They seemed more than fine but now that I think about it, they didn't inform me about my sister (or brother, Zulu, but we never talk about him anyway) so maybe I'm being over dramatic? Maybe she's fine and I'm just worrying for nothing.

"It's going to be okay." Nate gently places his hand right on my thigh, to which I look at in surprise. It ceases my leg from shaking, altogether. "It's natural to worry about family."

"Of course." I sigh, scratching my forehead a bit as I close my eyes. The guilt is still there. "Sorry. This was meant to be a date and here I am, focused on anything but you. My head is just all over the place."